


College buddies

by CEOofnobodyasked



Category: Psychonauts (Video Games), Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, College, Crossover, Dental school, Friendship, Gen, Prequel, Roommates, Trauma, tw mention of blood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-23 06:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEOofnobodyasked/pseuds/CEOofnobodyasked
Summary: The misadventures that Dr. Loboto and Dr. Habit have as roommates before the events of their respective games. Whether it's unsupportive parents, Caligosto being unwilling to smile, or Boris's lack of enthusiasm about passing his classes, the two are going to push through all of life's problems using their frankly dangerous and insane problem solving skills.
Relationships: Caligosto Loboto/ Dr. Boris Habit
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	1. Dorm Drama

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [What's your favorite videogames, Dr. Loboto ?](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/608365) by Redrumrose. 



“Goodbye, son”  
“We LOVE you.”

Caligosto Loboto watched as his parents' car drove down the road and into the sunrise. Leaving him, and all his stuff behind in a big pile outside the dormitory. He knew he shouldn’t have expected they would assist him in hauling all his junk up to the third floor of his dormitory, but at least getting out of the car to see him off would’ve been nice. 

As he began dragging the first suitcase up the stairs he began to wonder if his parents would’ve been more helpful if he had just gone to medical school like they told him to his whole life, before quickly pushing that thought to the back of his mind. He spent his entire senior year fighting with his Father just for the CHANCE at being a dentist. He wasn’t going to let some old stairs defeat HIM. 

Once he reached his apartment, 14C, he flung open the door revealing the white walls, white floors, white counter tops, and white everything else as far as the eye could see. How Boring. Oh well, while he wasn’t able to bring as much as he had liked, he was sure with some of his posters and toy boats he could make this apartment a home in no time. 

Stepping further into the apartment he saw two identical rooms side by side. Oh, these must be the bedrooms. Despite the fact the mattress was completely bare, he couldn’t help but collapse on it. After his allotted five minutes of laziness was up he pushed open the suitcase to see what he put in this one, only to see a strange package on the top. 

He gingerly pulled the contents of the tear on the top only to find… a shower cap? Confused he pulled it out, turning it over in his hand. It had the same coloration and patterns of his mother’s favorite dress. While he was in thought, a note fell out of the bottom of the cap. 

“Have a good time in dental school. Don’t Embarrass us.”

  * Mom <3 



Caligosto held the shower 

cap to his chest, his Mom loved him, and he knew it. She may not have helped him much, but what was he to complain about? It was never her job to help him with his luggage or to get into dental school anyway. He put the cap over his head and smiled. He’d have to put it away before anyone saw it, but he’d wear it whenever he could. Maybe if he hurried he could carry up a couple boxes without running into anyone, after all his parents dropped him off before most of the students would even be out of bed.

***

“Bye Mom, see you tonight!” 

“Bye Sam, are you sure you don’t need my help! With the boxes?”

“Yes Ma, I’ve got it.”  
“Okay Sweetie, see you soon.”

Across the parking lot, the voices of two people rang out, presumably it was another student being seen off, by their parents. He grabbed the nearest box before sprinting up the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. Despite the fact his hands were clearly full at the moment, almost every new neighbor of his would try to ask him for directions, or worse try to convince him to help carry up their junk. 

He barely even had time to find out what he had grabbed when he heard a loud knock on the door. Tearing his attention away from the contents of the crate, he rushed over the door to see what the knocker could possibly want. Pushing it open, he revealed the smiling face of a guy with the patio behind him littered with all matters of clothes, furniture and all other assortments of knick knacks. “Hey, is this Apartment 14C?” Asked Loboto’s new roommate (presumably Sam, since their voices sounded the same.)

“Yeah, last time I checked.” Caligosto answered, so this was his new roommate. Not his first choice, but as long as he was normal. He stepped aside to allow the guy to bring his mess inside. “The room at the end of the hall is yours, I’ve already partially moved into the one you’re standing next too.” It wasn’t like he had much reason to dislike the guy, but he sensed something off, something a little… unnatural. 

Once Sam had passed he slipped through the door to make his way to the last few bags and boxes by the road. On the way down, he began to wonder how the guy had managed to carry up so much stuff in the time it took him to bring up one of the lighter boxes. Almost as if in cue, Sam appeared behind him, startling him with an unexpected question. “HEY! Do you need any help with your stuff? Carrying up only one box at a time must be SOOOOOO slow! Maybe I could speed it up for you?” Loboto pushed away any reservations, after four and a half hours, he’d accept any help he could get.

“Oh, yeah, you can do that if you want.” Cali answered as he grabbed the final suitcase, if his roommate could bring up his stuff as quickly as he did his own, this next load would be finished in a few minutes. He turned around expecting to see Sam hauling a big stack of boxes only to see something much more sinister. Sam had one hand to his temple and the other in the air, the boxes floated over the ground with a blue aura surrounding them.

“PUT THOSE DOWN, NOW!” Caligosto shrieked. Dropping his suitcase in the shock. Panicked, Sam dropped the boxes, causing all of them to hit the ground, one remained intact while the other two weren’t so lucky. The one that held all of Cali’s dishes had an audible crash as they all broke into hundreds of little pieces. The other popped open causing papers to fly everywhere.

He didn’t care, he hardly noticed. The Administration could fix this, there had to be another open apartment somewhere in the complex, right? Unconcerned with the mess he and Sam had left on the sidewalk he began his slow walk in the general direction of the leasing office. He didn’t even notice Sam yelling and running up to him holding his shower Cap until he put his hand on Cali’s shoulder. “Sorry man, you uh dropped this.” Sam said trying to keep his voice calm, but not fully masking his fear.

Calligosto spun around and snatched the shower cap, only realizing what it falling off meant. Not only had he been wearing it all morning, but he had forgotten to comb his hair over due to the excitement of moving, leaving his scar clearly visible. Panicked he shoved the cap over his head. It would be better to wear this than make people think he was some kind of freak, and he was NOT going back to the apartment to fix himself up. 

“Why are you wearing a shower cap anyway, the sun's shining.” Sam yelled behind him. 

“Why do YOU want to know, or care!” Loboto shot back, before picking up the pace in hopes Sam wouldn’t follow him. He hoped he would never see any Psychics again after that fateful trip to the hospital. He wasn’t certainly wasn't going to live with one for the foreseeable future. 

***

“HE’S CRAZY! I don’t care _who_ you put me with, but I am NOT stepping foot in that apartment again as long as HE is living in it.” Caligosto heard the yelling before he even stepped into the leasing office. A young woman had her hands on the desk, one of the staff was trying to deescalate the situation and was having no such luck.

“Please Jenny, we might be able to find you a new apartment within the day, but so far nobody else has had any transferal requests” Jenny let out an unintelligible screech of frustration, before angrily dropping onto one of the waiting chairs, and grabbing a magazine by its front cover and pulling it clean off. Sheepishly, Cali stepped closer to the administration desk, trying to keep from looking over and seeing the daggers she was staring at both him and the landlady. 

“I was uh… wondering if you had any apartments open, that I could uh transfer to, but I see that your… busy right now. I’ll come back in a few hours.” He was so focused on backing away towards the door that he bumped right into the girl who had just been at the counter. 

“Did you say _transfer,_ as in you want to transfer apartments?” Jenny asked, her stepping closer and closer until she was only a few inches below him. Silently, Loboto thanked his genetics that he wound up so tall, or else she would have been directly in his face. “Do you hear that Mrs. Johnson! This guy also wants to transfer! DO. YOU. HEAR. ME!” 

“Yes Jenny, I hear you loud and clear.” Mrs. Johnson replied, with thinly veiled annoyance. “What apartment do you live in?” She asked, turning to Caligosto. 

“Apartment 14C.” He answered tentatively. 

“Oh, you must be Caligosto then, your roommate is Sam Heisenberg, right? He’s such a nice guy? Why would you possibly want to move apartments! Also, I get this isn’t the time to ask these questions, but why are you wearing a shower cap to the leasing office?” Mrs. Johnson asked accusingly. Cali looked at his feet nervously,he hated telling people about his business with psychics, and unless she checked his medical record she might not even believe him. Luckily he didn’t have to answer, because Jenny was yelling before he could get a word out. 

“SAM, I thought I would never see him after high school, he was my best friend, until he moved away and we lost contact. This is fate, it has to be. Mrs. Johnson you HAVE to put me in with him!” Jenny squealed.

Mrs Johnson turned her head over back to Cali as his eyes stayed trained on the floor.”Provided if Sam is okay with this, and Boris is okay with you, would you be willing to move over to apartment 12B?” Cali nodded, grateful he didn’t have to answer any of her questions. Well that and he wouldn’t end up sharing an apartment with her. He’d still take her anyway over Sam, he knew she wasn’t Psychic, if she was she surely would’ve broken something during her tantrum. Still, with all her yelling and… halitosis. 

***

A couple hours later, all the paperwork had been signed. He was told to move everything out of the apartment by night, and Jenny would be expected to do the same. The dishes had to be thrown away, and most of the binders and textbook he brought lay in the courtyard with pages strewn everywhere, but otherwise the move was much easier than it had been earlier since he was moving a floor down, rather than climbing three flights up. Luckily for him, Sam had been out of the apartment

After only an hour and a half he had all his stuff in a neat pile outside of the door. At 5:00 he would meet Jenny again to exchange apartment keys. For now he had a little over an half hour to kill. He had overheard the administration building had quite the rec room when he was overlooking apartments. He knew the chances of ever visiting it were slim, but with no car or apartment keys he didn’t have many other options.

***

The rec room had a pool table, a microwave, a TV with a couple of old chairs, there was a girl playing two arcade machines in the corner, but otherwise it was empty. He checked his pockets, hoping for a few stray quarters, but they were probably in one of his suitcases outside the apartment. Trying not to distract her, he stepped forward to see what was on the arcades. The unoccupied one was asteroids, an old favorite from high school. While the one she was playing appeared to be Snake. 

She had only just started the game when he walked in, but she made the most of her quarter, she wasn’t as good as he did, but he couldn’t help but be impressed. It took her almost ten minutes before the snake hit itself and the game ended. When the game over screen flashed on screen Calgosto let out a big exhale, he hadn’t even realized he had been holding his breath this whole time. 

Startled, she turned around to face him… except well Cali could now see the mystery Snake snake player wasn’t a she at all. The mystery player was almost as tall as Caligosto, he had long red hair and light skin, though his mouth was only open for a few seconds, Cali couldn’t help but notice the amount of teeth he was missing. Nervously, Cali smiled at the Snake player, immediately making him seem far more relaxed. Turning back around he looked back at the screen. Despite already being caught watching Cali kept standing in place, waiting to see what would happen next.  
The guy had made the leader-board, at fourth place. Moving the joystick around to enter his name eventually getting out the letters “BOR” he was about to press yes to immortalize the name forever, before he pushed start over and put in “HAB” instead. After the fourth time watching that, Cali got sick of watching and pushed him out of the way. “You’re doing it all wrong. THIS is what you put into your high score slot.” Loboto laughed as he pushed in the letters “ASS.”

The player turned his head and looked at the screen before laughing. Caligosto gave the biggest grin he could muster, before also giving a giggle. He was prepared to watch another game before the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He glanced down at his watch before making a break for the stairs. It was 4:56, he could make it to the administration in time if he hurried.

***

It turned out his panic was all for nothing, it took Jenny almost twenty minutes to show up with her keys, but eventually they managed to swap keys. And Loboto could finally start moving into an apartment. As he made his way to the door Jenny yelled out, “Thanks for putting up with my crazy Roommate for me, I’ll make sure to tell everyone what a brave soul you are at your funeral!”

Caligosto walked away relieved to finally be rid of Jenny, he could deal with crazy, his parents left him in an Asylum for almost a year when he was a kid, and after watching Jenny’s antics made him suspect she was the crazy one in that apartment. His suspicions were almost immediately confirmed when she gave her final words of wisdom as he began walking to his new apartment. “One more thing, if you HAVE to wear a hat, don’t wear a shower cap, and certainly not THAT one.”  
It took every remaining ounce of Caligosto’s willpower not to snap at her, but at this point he was done interacting with her. He had her apartment, and he didn’t care what happened with her and Sam after that. They could become time traveling bank robbers for all he cared.

***

The new apartment was almost identical to his old one. Caligosto stepped into the bedroom which had the door left open and pushed his suitcase onto the bed. He was about to begin unpacking when he realized he had forgotten to tell his parents about the apartment transfer. Picking up the old phone in the corner of the living room he dialed his old home number. He let it ring for about a minute before it cut off. He tried two more times with the same results. His parents must be pretty busy, they rarely were on Thursdays, but he would just make sure to call them again in the morning. 

He opened the door to grab another box, only to be met with the man from the Arcade. Upon seeing Caligosto his face immediately lit up. “Ar u my new room-mate?” 

“Yep, here I am.” Caligosto answered confidently. 

“It is so nice 2 meet u, I’m Boris Habit!” Boris said with his crooked smile. 

Instinctively, Caligosto stuck out his mechanical friend to offer a handshake, before pulling it back and putting his real hand out instead. 

“Well my name is Caligosto Loboto,” Cali responded, inching his way to his stuff. Until Boris stepped back and allowed him to pass.

Boris began cooking something as Caligosto rooted through his stuff for the cans of food his parents gave him. It was approaching seven o clock, and he hadn’t noticed how hungry he was, he didn’t even have time for breakfast this morning. Finally finding an old can of chicken soup he walked into the kitchen only to find that Boris had set out two plates. 

“You are so much nicer than that girl, she was always a frowner, never shows her pretty white teeths..” Boris said, turning around to look at Caligosto, “I alzo love your shower hat, the flowers in it are so pretty.” 

Despite the fact the compliments were a bit odd, they drew another toothy grin from Cali as he looked over at his new friend.Sure Boris was a bit odd… but Caligosto was sure he couldn’t have been placed with a better roommate.


	2. Job Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boris helps Caligosto find a job, unfortunately Cali is having trouble with the interviews.

The smell of Pancakes was the thing that finally pulled Caligosto out of his slumber. He rarely went to bed before the early hours of the morning, and even less frequently lasted the night without any nightmares. The excitement of Yesterday must’ve tired him out enough to sleep soundly for once.   
Pushing himself out of bed he made his way over to the other side of the room, and felt around for the doorknob, before he pulled open the door and stumbled into the hall. As his eyes adjusted to the light he made out the form of Boris standing over the stove, frying pan in hand.   
“Good Morn-ing, Call-e-ghost-o,” Boris practically sang upon seeing Cali in the hallway.  
“Good Morning Boris, and you can just call me Cal or Cali if that makes it easier for you, ” Caligosto replied, rubbing his eyes. He appreciated his friends attempts at saying his name, and it wasn’t the worst attempt he had seen, but Boris had trouble saying basic words, and Cali doubted he could tolerate being called ‘Call-e-ghost-o’ for the foreseeable future.   
“Eye made you some break-fast, Cali.” Boris said with a smile as he flipped one of the pancakes onto a plate.  
“That’s very nice of you Boris,” Cali said holding out his arms for the plate, looking down he saw the problem. In the confusion of waking up in a new apartment, he had forgotten to attach his prosthetic arm. It was probably on his nightstand where he left it or the floor next to it. Making his way back to his room Cali spotted the phone, he’d have to call his parents and tell them about the move once he finished putting his other arm in place.   
He hated putting his prosthetic arm on. It always sent a shooting pain across his shoulder, leaving the area sore for the next few hours, but he had learned from experience that leaving it on at night almost always led to worse results, often breaking the stupid thing. Leaving him to do everything without it while he waited for repairs or a replacement, and neither of those options were cheap.   
He gritted his teeth as he pushed the prosthetic arm into the socket. Once he was sure it was in its proper position he tested it by quickly moving each of his fingers. Once he was satisfied by the results, he made his way back to the kitchen. Boris was looking through the newspaper while humming a little tune. Cali sighed and turned his gaze over to the phone, now was as good of a time as any to explain everything that happened the previous day to his parents.  
He reached for his phone before dialing the all to familiar number, luckily unlike yesterday the phone was picked up almost immediately.   
“Hello? Who is this!?” The accusing voice of his mother rang out.   
"It's just me, Mom." He answered, a tad surprised at her aggressiveness.   
"Oh, how did the move go Yesterday? You must’ve been pretty busy because you never bothered to call.”  
Caligosto stared at the floor, not even bothering to correct her. “I’m sorry Mom,” he forced out, “I was so busy Yesterday, I moved in then had to go through all the paperwork of changing apartments, and after THAT was all said and done I had to move all my stuff again.”  
“CALIGOSTO LOBOTO, WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET KICKED OUT OF A ROOM ON YOUR FIRST DAY!” Cali’s mother screamed. He reeled back at how angry she sounded, had anything happened that morning to put her in such a foul mood.   
“It wasn’t me I promise,” he yelled, choking back tears. “It was my roommate, he was… he was…” his voice dropped an octave and he placed his left hand between his mouth and the phone, as much for himself as it was for Boris, “psychic.”  
He held the phone in silence for a painfully long amount of time before his Mom spoke again, “Oh… I’m sorry to hear that the administration tried to room you with one of those freaks without even giving you a warning. I should go up to that office this weekend and see if I can get you out out of this lease, because I don’t want to give these people any of my-”  
“Wait, Mom.” Caligosto interrupted, “They changed my room really fast, and they gave me a really good roommate, and it’s no problem, I probably won't run into that guy again.”  
“You’d better not,” his mother replied, with poorly hidden fury in her voice.   
“Can I talk to Dad? I know he’s probably busy but I just want to tell him what’s going on.” Cali asked tentatively.   
"Sorry Sweetie, your Dad is about to leave for work," his Mom answered flatly.  
He could call him back later, right? His Mom would probably tell him that anyway, but he yelled one last desperate question into the phone, "Could you at least-"   
"Bye Cal, I love you." The line cut out, she had probably hung up. He could call her back, but it was unlikely she’d answer.   
He turned back to face the table. Boris was staring up at his tear stained face, as he carelessly dropped the phone back on its stand. “Did, some-one say some-ting bad?” Boris asked looking at Caligosto with concern, “You were all smileys until you talked on the phobne, now you’re face is all frownies.” Cali forced a very weak smile as his friend held out a napkin for him to wipe his face with.   
“It’s nothing, really. Let me just wash up and I’ll be ready for breakfast, I promise I won’t let the pancakes get cold.” Caligosto yelled as he made his way to the bathroom.  
Before he could shut the door, he he heard Boris trying to respond, “crbying does-not seem like no-thing 2 me, but eye will habv you laugh-ting and smiling by the end of break-fast.” Despite the odd nature of everything Habit just said, Cali couldn’t help but hope his friend was right.   
***  
But... somehow it isn’t the same.   
Caligosto slammed the newspaper on the table before howling with laughter. Habit looked down at the print puzzled, but laughed alongside his friend anyway. “Dad always called me childish for reading all those newspaper comics, but he’s not here to see this.” Caligosto laughed smugly.   
It was hard to believe just a few minutes earlier he had been crying over a silly phone call.He’d have to call his Mother later, whatever he did to make her so mad, he’d apologize.  
He flipped through the rest of the newspaper pages absentmindedly before coming to a page that caught his eye: Job Listings, none of the jobs really caught his eye, but there were only two jobs he ever wanted anyway. “I suppose I have to start looking for a job,” he sighed, “I have about enough money for a month of rent, and that doesn't include food. I guess it’s time to start looking for a job.”   
“May-bee get-ing a job will not be so bad.” Boris chimed in, “Eye woprk at the gar-den-ing area at the big store down the rboad, eye don’t get 2 do much act-tu-al gar-den-ing, but I love water-ing all the flowers.”  
Cali scanned the page, nothing other than the aquarium job caught his eye, and after highschool he wouldn’t be surprised if he was barred from every aquarium in a 100 mile radius. Worth it. Since he had no preferences, he could try to just apply to everything and see what work he could actually get.   
Grabbing the newspaper Caligosto ran over to the phone and started dialing his first number, with any luck, he could be working his job before the fall semester started.   
***  
“Why don’t I have any nice clothes!?” Boris heard Caligosto yell as he stormed out of his room. Boris didn’t think there was anything wrong with his outfit, it was a plain white T-shirt with a pair of black non-dress pants. They were far from fancy, but they weren’t exactly the kind of clothes you would miss a job opportunity for either.   
“Eye think you look very nice,” Boris told Cali softly, “the big store eye apple-eyed 2 gave me the job even without fancy cloth-ing. Other places will prob-ab-ly be the same.”   
“I know, I know.” Cali responded flatly, “It doesn't really matter as long long as the interview goes well, but I hadn’t realized my wardrobe consisted entirely of band T-shirts, and club attire.”  
Boris looked past Cali and into the room behind him, the floor and the bed were covered in brightly colored shirts and pants thrown around haphazardly. Of the ten places Cali had called in about, nine of them had offered interviews, and six of them were desperate enough for work they had been scheduled for later that day. “Come on Boris! That restaurant Argus’s real barbeque managed to squeeze me in at 11:00!” He called out cheerfully as he reached the front door.   
“Come-ing in a sec-ond,” Boris yelled back. His friend had been at a lightning pace all morning, and Boris had been struggling to keep up. It wasn’t like Boris was complaining though, other than that brief moment on the phone Caligosto had been all smileys since they met in the rec room. Not like that last girl, in a world of frowners she was the frowniest of all.   
When Boris reached the car, he couldn’t help but notice Cali pushing his hair around in a desperate attempt to hide that scar near his eye. Boris had been wondering what happened to give him that big scar across the top of his head, and why he was missing his arm ever since he come out of bedroom with his hair a mess and his arm gone, but he always hated when people asked him about his teeth, so Cali probably felt the same way about his scars.   
“Read-y 2 go??” Boris asked as he twisted the keys in the door handle, and began to open his door.  
Caligosto looked up from the mirror, startled, “Y-yeah, time to crush some interviews.” He said in a fake excited voice, before pulling his own door open and laying his head on the dashboard.   
“You don't need to hide your scar, you don't look ugly or bad 2 me.” Boris said in a voice trying to be comforting.  
Cali picked his head up a little, before responding, “Thank you Boris, nobody has told me that in a long time.” Before pushing himself up in a more neutral position.   
Despite the encouraging words, Boris still felt like he had been intruding when he saw his friend styling his hair in the rearview mirror, he wanted to apologize, but what for? He didn’t do anything wrong, and both he and Cali knew it, oh well, he would have time to think about it when Cali did his interview anyway.   
***  
When Caligosto came out of the restaurant, Boris excitedly opened the door and yelled, “Did you get the job?”  
Cali walked up to the side of the car, before mumbling, “no Boris, they said I wasn’t the ‘type of person they were looking for’ WELL YOU KNOW WHAT!” Cali suddenly yelled. “I don’t want to work for them either, what kind of person do they hire, waiters who constantly get your order wrong, then give you dirty looks when you correct them. I guess I’m happy not being that type of person then!”   
Boris sat uncomfortably listening to his friends rant, but it fizzled out almost as soon as it started, “Good rid-ants to that job any-way,” Boris finally told his friend, “I am sure one of these places will think you are ‘the type of person they are look-ing for.’”   
Cali gave a sigh of relief, “Yeah, your right, it was just one bad interview, I have better places I can work anyway.”  
Cali opened the door and slid into his seat, “Wear do you need 2 go next?” Boris asked, noticing his friend's mood had returned to normal, while a bit embarrassed, Boris guessed all that ranting had paid off.   
“My next interview isn’t for another hour and a half, we might as well just kill time at the apartment til then.” Caligosto answered before continuing, “We have to go to sunflower coffee at 1:00, Dan’s fresh fish at 2:15, Pagotti’s Pizzeria at 4:00 and at seven we go have to stop by the grocery store.”   
While the schedule didn’t sound too hectic, Boris couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed just hearing about it, with any luck, the next job Cali tried to get could be the last one.  
***  
Despite how poorly the interview had just gone, Cali couldn’t help but laugh. That guy needed to lighten up, all he had done was use the stapler when he left the room. The interview had been going well up until that point, yet they threw it all away over a little joke. The guy was way too serious, he probably would’ve been a bad manager anyway.   
“Was enter-view a suck-sess?” Habit asked excitedly.  
“Nope, it was the worst one yet! Everything was going really well until the very end, where the manager got called out to deal with a customer, I figured I would be in there for a while, so I started using the stapler like it was a mouth and mimicking the overly serious way he talked. Only for him to walk right in a few seconds later.” Caligosto doubled over with laughter as he continued his story, “needless to say, I didn’t get the job.”  
Despite his disappointment, Habit gave a bit of a giggle before making a weak attempt to tell Cali off, “Cali, that soubnds really funny, but we have been try-ing to get you a job all day!”   
“I wasn’t TRYING to ruin the job interview. I just had bad luck,” Caligosto responded with an exasperated tone, “I won’t goof around next interview, this job is too easy and well paying for that.” He Promised. He meant it, getting paid 4.25 an hour to do some driving was the best job he could get without experience, with the added bonus of not having to interact with some of the particularly annoying customers.   
Cali laid back in his chair, going over every hypothetical during the job interview, he rarely paid much mind into impressing his employers. The last time he did was his old Aquarium job in high school, but with Habit’s growing frustration, he would have to put effort into trying to be a bit more normal. He wasn’t a freak, at least not anymore, but he knew he was still far from normal, and while it often drove the people he disliked away, it had the added disadvantage of making career opportunities fewer and further between. 

He was so deep in thought he didn’t even notice when Habit pulled into the parking lot in front of Pagotti’s. “Cali, we are here.” Boris said quietly while tapping Caligosto’s shoulder. Snapping out of his daze, Cali looked at the restaurant nervously. He had to get the job this time, he just had too.   
Forcing a nervous smile as he opened the door he looked over at Boris, and whispered “I’m off to ace that interview.”  
“Good luck Cali, eye be-leave you can get it!” Boris yelled out confidently, Caligosto steadied his hands, being nervous could ruin his chances at getting this job, thinking the same thought on repeat, ‘this time, I’m getting the job.’  
***  
Caligosto had been inside the Pizzeria for so long, Boris had begun to wonder if he had run off. When he finally emerged over an hour later holding a pizza and something else, Boris didn’t recognize him at first. Not wanting to get his hopes up too high, Boris cautiously asked, “Did every-thing go okay?”  
Boris had heard Cali shout several times at this point, but it still caught him off guard when it happened again, “I GOT THE JOB BORIS! I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT I GOT IT!” Boris held his head back, his ears slightly ringing from the sudden yelling, but he couldn’t help but smile at seeing his friend so happy, it was by far the happiest he had ever seen Cali, even if he had only known him for a day at this point.   
“Con-grat-you-lay-shins Cali,” Boris squeaked. “Eye new you could do it.” Despite all the driving and boredom he had to deal with today, making someone smile like that just made him feel so good.   
“Come on Boris let’s go home, we can have Pizza tonight,I decided to test and see if my new discount worked.” Cali said his voice filled with pride. “I even got my favorite topping, pineapple.”  
“Eye do not think eye have had that one be-four,” Boris thought aloud.   
“One more thing Boris, they aren’t giving me a car to make the deliveries, I can borrow yours, right?” Cali asked quietly.  
Boris thought for a second, he had only gotten the car recently, but Cali’s job paid better than his, and he was so happy to have gotten the job, Boris couldn’t make himself ruin it. “All-right, just take good care of it and we should-not have any itch-shoes.”  
Upon hearing the news Caligosto’s eyes lit up. Boris smiled as the apartment came into view, it was only his second day living here, yet he had already made someone happy. Maybe dental school wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were curius, this was the Comic Loboto was reading  
>  https://imgur.com/a/YrGxfO0  
> Again I'd like to give a special thanksto Redrumrose for inspiring this fic, here's the art of hers I referenced.  
> https://cabinetofdrcaligosto.tumblr.com/post/189576109728/doyou-like-jellyfish


	3. October 18th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since Caligosto doesn't have anything planned for his birthday, Boris decides to throw him a party.

Boris’s least favorite part of the morning was when Caligosto would call his parents. It would always end one of two ways, either they would never answer and eventually Cali would give up, or they would answer and one of them would end up angrily hanging up on the other. Either option would ruin any good mood Cali may have had beforehand, and today was no exception. 

“Parents are the worst,” Caligosto mumbled as he pulled his chair out from under the table, and began aggressively stabbing his omelette. “They haven’t answered any calls at all this week and it’s my birthday for crying out loud!” 

While not surprised at his friends justified frustration, Boris couldn’t help but be a little taken aback, his friend had never once said anything negative about his parents, and what was this about a birthday, “two-day is your birth-day?” He asked, wanting to make sure he had heard that correctly. 

“Yeah, it is, I’m not much of a birthday person. Other people’s birthdays are fun, but I never got invited to any parties, and my parents weren’t the type who would wreck the house over a few hours of enjoyment.” Calligosto sighed, “Well at least I got today off work, BUT I still have to go to class. Why is dental school so boring? I was hoping we’d be learning about teeth by now.”

Boris had been in dental school for two years already, and asking those same questions the whole time. Not wanting to tell his friend that, he changed the subject. “Well sense eye don’t habve class to-day, I can pick you up win-ever you like.” As the words came out, Boris immediately regretted them, he’d need as much time as possible to make his plan work. 

“Three o’clock, same as always,” Cali responded, not missing a beat. Yes, that would net Boris four and a half hours to work on his plan.

When Boris looked over, Caligoso’s plate was empty and his eyes were glued to his newspaper comics. Silently he picked up both his and Caligosto’s plates and began walking them to the kitchen. It was normally Cali’s job to wash the dishes, but it was a fifty-fifty shot on whether he would actually do it. 

It would be another hour and a half before Cali’s class started. He wouldn’t be able to do anything while he waited for Cali to get ready. Well there was one thing he could do, while he waited. As he passed Cali, who had moved his attention from the newspaper to the old black and white TV that came with the apartment, he hoped he still had plenty of paper, because he would need a lot of it. 

***

“Bye Cali, eye will see you at three,” Boris yelled as Cali hopped out of the car, and began the long walk to class. Despite the fact it was very unlikely Caligosto would look back, and even less so that he would notice Boris wasn’t leaving in the direction of the apartment, Boris made sure Cali was out of sight before pulling his car out of the parking lot and in the direction of the general store. While Boris was able to make a few good posts, and a paper chain that looked like teeth, the house didn’t have nearly enough supplies for the party Boris was planning.

***

Chocolate or Vanilla? Boris had been staring at the two cake boxes for almost ten minutes. He had only just started his shopping, and he had already hit his first wall. He knew it shouldn’t matter which cake he picked, because to him all cake was good. At the same time, he had seen kids throw hissy fits over not getting the right kind of cake before. 

It wasn’t like he saw Cali as a kid or anything, his friend just tended to enjoy more childish hobbies and could be very loud at times, and had a seemingly endless supply of energy. Not that there was anything wrong with that… He liked his friend, and if anything the energy was a plus, he had seen so many of even the happiest kids lose their smilies and turn into frowners as they got older. Though it did make him unpredictable on occasion. 

Not wanting to dwell too much longer on the issue, lest he start wondering if Cali even liked cake, or sweets in general he picked out a combination that would please both sides, chocolate cake with vanilla icing. Boris had always preferred Vanilla himself, but the icing gave him an idea, though if he had enough time to put it into action, he would have to see. 

Luckily, he didn’t have nearly the issue of picking out the perfect present for Caligosto. Almost as soon as he grabbed the last ingredient for the cake, the idea came to him, and he began to move in the direction of the toy aisle. 

Cali tried to hide his collection of bath toys, but he would often forget them in the bathroom, and he had a tendency of getting so into his bathtub battles they could be heard from all over the apartment. Despite the noise, Boris never had the heart to tell his friend the walls weren’t as soundproof as he thought they were. Besides, his friend clearly looked forward to them, so why would Boris try to stop that enjoyment. He spent his whole life trying to make people happy after all. 

Since bath toys were so cheap, Boris was able to grab everything nautical themed before stopping by the book section for once last purchase, admittedly for Boris’s sake rather than Caligosto’s. 

  
  


Sure that he had grabbed everything he needed, Boris made his way to the checkout. Checking out was always his least favorite part of shopping, it usually involved waiting in a long line with a bunch of frowny people, with an even frownier cashier. Even on the occasion where the cashier or one of the people in line was smilies and sunshine, everyone else just grew angry, making Boris afraid to do the same. 

***  
Boris desperately turned the keys in hopes of unlocking his apartment, despite living in that apartment for over two months at this point, he always had trouble with the door. Unlocking doors in general was never his strong suit, though he had never seen someone else have such problems with it. Finally he heard the satisfying click, and nearly fell forward due to how hard he had been pushing on the door handle. 

Placing his bags on the table, Boris leaned on the counter to take a look at the clock reading 12:15. He knew he had spent a little too much time picking things out, but even with the traffic jam on the way home he was a bit off guard that he had lost over an hour and a half.

He fumbled through the bags until he grabbed the cake mix, he had plenty of time to make the cake, but he doubted even if he waited until 3 that he would be able to frost it without the icing melting, still he began to mix the ingredients together and preheat the oven.

It only took him until he got home to realize he had forgotten to buy anything he could use to wrap Caligosto’s presents. Boris would have to improvise. He would have to improvise a ton of things to get this party in some form of working order by 3:00…

***

“That’s it, I’m done with social interaction!” Caligosto yelled as he slammed the door to Boris’s car. Boris would usually remind his friend to be gentle with his car, but he had something else on his mind on the way home. While he had surprisingly managed to get everything ready in time for the party, his friend's foul mood might kill any chances of him actually enjoying his birthday. 

Though the drive between the apartment and the University was less than ten minutes on average Boris’s nervousness and Cali’s anger made it feel eternal. Finally they arrived back at the apartment.

Luckily, Cali didn’t slam his door shut when getting out, but his ranting continued all the way up the stairs. “If I have ONE more person tell me how ulgly my scars look, I’m giving them some of thier own. If you’ll excuse me-” Cllie said as he approached the door, unlocking it before Boris could stop him,” I’m going to take a bath, and forget today ever happ- uh…”  
  


Boris knew it was too late to stop his friend from seeing the kitchen and living room, so instead he gave his most cheerful, “Sup-rise!.” Cali stared into the apartment, it had handmade decorations covering the walls and tables. Paper cut into the shape of teeth was stringed up on the wall, over a cheesy poster Boris had made saying, ‘Smile its your Birth-day!’ over the table which held the partially frosted cake, and paper bag and newspapers that contained Cali’s gifts. Noticing his friends confusion, Boris decided to continue, and point towards the decorations, “Hap-y Birth-day Cali-ghost-o!”  
Without a word Caligosto stepped inside the apartment and looked the area over, before stopping at the cake, Boris had cut it in the shape of a tooth as best he could, and desperately thrown the icing over it. Most of the icing had melted off in a puddle next to the cake leaving brown patches exposed all over the cake. Making a voice that couldn’t even convince himself he believed what he was saying, Boris offered an explanation, “That tooth just has a-lot of cav-it-ees.”   
Cali looked over at him, trying his best to hold a straight face before breaking down into laughter. “This is the best birthday cake I’ve ever had!” Boris eased up a little, but just in case this was one of those instances where someone said something and meant the opposite he didn’t say anything. Instead Boris handed him one of his gifts. 

Caligosto eagerly opened the bag and pulled out a toy boat. He looked over it with a barely concealed smile before pulling a plastic shark out of the bag. In a few minutes the table was covered with all manner of miniature models of sea creatures and ocean vehicles. “I note-iced your toys were get-ing old, so I got you new ones!” he said as softly as he could while his friend looked over the collection. 

“These are way better than my old ones, I’ve had them since… I’ve uh... had them for a long time…” Cali’s voice trailed off, but he continued looking at them with increasing interest. He was so excited about his last gift, Boris almost felt bad handing him his second gift. 

Cali practically snatched it eagerly, ripping the paper off, revealing a book underneath, ‘Russian English Dictionary.’ He looked up at Boris with a mixture of amusement and disappointment. “Eye just thought, since eye no so much ing-lish may-bee you could learn some rush-in?” Boris blurted out nervously, he knew he shouldn’t have picked out a gift that would benefit himself, he was almost ready to apologize and take it back before Cali smiled again and rolled his eyes. 

“Thank you Boris, the toys look great. I might even open up that book occasionally.” Cali said with a mixture of enthusiasm and amusement in his voice. Boris sighed with relief, the gift wasn’t terrible after all. While Cali was preoccupied with his presents, Boris began checking all the empty bags for the candles, they had to be in one of them…

***

“I’ve never had much of a sweet tooth, but this is a good cake!” Cali mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate and frosting. Boris smiled, he hadn’t been able to find the candles anywhere, but that didn’t stop him from cutting and serving it anywhere. 

As the two of them ate thier slices of cake, the phone started ringing starling both of them, Habit starred at Cali waiting for him to take off across the room as he always did when the phone rang, but instead he continued to eat his cake. 

Noticing Boris’s confusion, Cali, reaching for another slice of cake just said, “What it’s probably just a telemarketer. Whoever it is they can wait!” Despite the fact Caligosto was probably right, Boris couldn’t help but smile, for once his friend wasn’t willing to throw away his good mood for a brief conversation on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit of a short one since I've been having internet trouble for the pat few days.  
> Also, on a note which ABSOLUTELY does not pertain to the next chapter can anyone tell me what costumes Habit and Loboto would wear for Halloween? (Other than something obvious like a tooth or a flower.)


	4. Halloween Hijinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Halloween, Caligosto decides he and Boris are going to pull only the most mature of Pranks this year. Ding-dong ditching, and TPing houses.

“I doubt anyone in the university will be able to resist my charms!” Caligosto chuckled as he stepped out of the bathroom in full pirate gear. Grabbing the attention of Boris who was studying on the dining room table. 

“Ooo, why ar you dress like a pie-rat? Is it spesh-al occa-shun?” Boris asked as Cali started doing poses to show off his hook hand. Almost as soon as those words exited Boris’s mouth, Caligosto stopped showing off and his face fell into a scowl.

“Boris, do you not know what day it is!” Cali yelled as Boris began looking around nervously. This was the first year he could actually celebrate Halloween without his parents finding some way to suck all the fun out of it, and he was hoping Boris would be willing to be his assistant with his plans. 

“Sat-or-day?” Boris mumbled nervously as Caligosto stared him down.

Caligosto sighed, he knew his friend was a bit unfamiliar with the culture of the area, but he should’ve at least heard of Halloween, he had been in the country since he was a little kid. As if on queue Boris figured it out and followed up, “Oh, Hall-o-een is day after tom-are-ow, I habve nev-er celery-breaked it befour.”   
A wave of relief swept over Cali before a new revelation hit him, “You have NEVER celebrated Halloween before!” Caligosto yelled as he grabbed Boris’s arm and began dragging him towards the door. “Well you're doing it this year, come on. If we hurry there might be a few costumes left.” 

“Wait-you still wear your cost-oom,” Boris yelled as Cali approached the door his hand still firmly latched around Boris’s arm. Cali sighed, he really didn’t want to change, and it would take too long and be too painful to swap his hook arm out for his working prosthetic. 

Using the hook he pulled the eye-patch over his left eye and continued dragging Boris to the door. “Now I’m ready to go.” Cali muttered as he struggled to open the door with only his hook hand. After about a minute Boris pulled himself out of Cali’s grip and pulled open the door himself. 

It was all Caligosto could do to not sprint down the stairs and yell for Boris to hurry up, but instead he walked down in the agonizingly slow pace they always walked. It wasn’t until they were halfway to the party store did Cali begin to wonder, just what costume would Boris want to wear anyway?

***

“Okay, open your eyes now!” Cali sighed as he removed his hands from his friend's eyes. The party store didn’t have anything in Boris’s size. While he was disappointed Cali expected that since he had placed his order for the costume weeks in advance and still had trouble finding something that fit him, and he never managed to get his hands on the compass he wanted. While Borits was a little shorter, it still would’ve been possible to never find anything that Boris could wear comfortably no matter how far in advance they looked. 

Not willing to give up on the idea of celebrating his favorite holiday with his friend, after one small setback, Caligosto chose to improvise by purchasing some of the remaining face paints and special effect makeup.   
He had been a bit uncomfortable about the thought of applying makeup to Boris, he knew Boris wore make-up on a regular basis, and probably would’ve been able to apply it himself just fine, but Cali wasn’t even 100% sure Boris even knew what a zombie looked like. So under the promise Boris wouldn’t tell anyone, he had done his best to perfect the look of the costume.

Boris’s eyes flew open as soon as those words came tumbling out of Caligosto’s mouth, Cali had to fight the urge to look elsewhere as Boris examined his reflection. His skin had been painted a darker shade of green, fake stitches stretched from underneath his eye to the corner of his mouth, but a few spots of “blood” (convincing red face paint) came out of the stitches with a few other spots over his face. 

The silence felt deafening, Cali just wanted some feedback, it didn’t matter if it was good or bad, but while he waited the seconds felt like hours. “This is am-maze-ing job, you mite habve a real tall-ant for make-up.” Boris finally answered. Cali let out a huge sigh of relief as soon as he heard those words, not realizing he had been holding his breath this whole time. Doing something that required such surgical precision hadn’t been easy, especially with his decidedly less precise metal arm.

While Boris admired his reflection in the mirror, Caligosto stepped into the hall to change into his own costume,when he was finished he was pleasantly surprised to learn Boris had changed into the oldest and rattiest clothes he had, maybe he knew a bit more about zombies than Cali thought. 

“What are we do-ing for Hall-o-een any-way?” I’ve never herd of a tray-dish-on with toilet-paper before.” Caligosto pulled his head up hitting it on the underside of the sink startled, how could somebody utterly lack the ability to keep his voice down, but somehow be stealthy enough to catch him off guard so often. 

“I’ll explain later,” Cali answered sharply, pulling his head out from under the sink and rubbing it. Boris looked down nervously holding up two small tubes, as Caligosto pushed himself up, he could see one was dark red, and the other black. 

“I had some extra, and eye though that may-bee sense you put make-up on me, I could put some on you?” Boris asked innocently. Almost every instinct of Cali’s told him to say no and make it hurt, but Boris’s enthusiasm and Cali’s curiosity of Boris’s makeup habits (so to speak) made him reluctantly agree.

Oh well, if he liked it he liked it, and if he didn’t it would be too dark for anyone to notice anyway.   
***

“Stop here, stop here!” Cali yelled as Boris’s call pulled into the nearby neighborhood. This place was perfect, there were houses as far as the eye could see, not all of them were set up for trick or treaters, and they were just far enough away so they couldn’t see him when he pranked their neighbors. 

“You have-ant told me what we are do-ing yet!” Boris cried as the car slid to a stop. Cali had been putting off telling his friend what his actual plans were for as long as he could. If his friend weren’t so unaware of all things Halloween he would’ve just said them outright. 

Instead Cali pushed open the car door, slipping out the side and keeping his head down. “This is something we around here call ding dong ditching,” Caligosto laughed as he shut the door behind him and ran to the nearest house. Looking around for a good hiding spot, he rang the doorbell three times before diving into some nearby bushes.   
A few seconds later a woman opened the door with a candy bowl in hand. She looked around before slamming the door. It was all Cali could do to hold in his laughter and not reveal his location. Once he was sure the coast was clear he sprinted back to the car, and to a rather confused Boris. 

“Sew you, touch that door but-in then hide?” Boris asked as Cali climbed into the car. 

“It’s uh, a lot more fun if you're not hiding in the car.” Caligosto replied a bit disheartened. He had wanted to do this his whole life, but if Boris refused he could miss his chance for another year. 

As Cali was going over the idea in his head, Boris spoke up. “Act-you-ally, that sounds fun, eye can hide with you.” Cali immediately pushed open the car door with a big smile on his face, before he could go too far Boris yelled out, “Weight, can eye just watch you dew it first, eye domt want to mess any-thing up!”  
Caligosto smiled, he knew it would only take a few houses before his partner in crime would get into the groove. If they both worked at it, they could hit every house in the neighborhood. 

***

“Weight, Cali!” Boris yelled again as Cali began approaching the final house they hadn’t done their little prank to yet. “Sense this is our last house to ding-dong run, we shood dew some-thing exra spooky!”

Caligosto turned around and stared back at his friend, while Boris had been enjoying ding-dong ditching, and often had been the one to ring the doorbell, he didn’t expect Boris to be having enough fun to make a suggestion. “I’m listening,” he replied mischievously. 

He leaned over so Boris could whisper the plan to him, he smiled. The plan was so genius Caligosto wondered why he didn’t think of it. He gave the thumbs up as Boris crept into position. Forcing all his reservations aside he ran over to the door of the house. Quickly he stuck his hand out and knocked on the door for nearly ten seconds, before flattening himself on the wall behind the door. 

Not a second too soon, because the door immediately came flying open, it was a burly man eating a chocolate bar. Before he even had the chance to look around Boris tore out of the bush, giving the most inhuman growl he could muster. It was quickly drowned out by a scream so loud and high pitched, Cali could’ve easily mistaken it’s source to be a four year old girl. 

While the man stared ahead dumbfounded, Caligosto and Boris took off into the streets, not stopping until they were in the car, and they knew the man wasn’t following them. It took them nearly five minutes before Boris could even start driving, due to both of them laughing until their sides hurt. 

“Sew, are we go-ing home, or you have more stuff you want to dew?” Boris asked as the car finally started moving. 

Cali had to catch his breath before flashing the most sinister smile he could manage. Pointing to the toilet paper in the back, he giggled, “Do you really think we’d stop after something as simple as THAT, we’re only getting started!”  
At the news, Boris’s smile grew larger, and he let out his best attempt at an evil laugh. Caligosto scanned the houses, it was getting late, so the chances of them getting caught were down, meaning they had more houses to pick from. 

Finally he settled on an isolated house, the lights were off, but it was clear people were still living in it. “Park here!” Cali ordered as soon as he knew the car was out of direct line of sight. As the car slid to a stop he reached into the back pulling two rolls of toilet paper from the back and holding one out for Boris. Cali had never TP’d a house before either, out of fear of what his parents would do, but that wasn’t going to stop him from acting like he knew what he was doing.

***

Cali snatched the roll out of the air as it descended from the upper branches of the tree. While he had only thrown the roll a couple times, it was already nearly half gone. Turning around to see Boris’s progress, he was standing over a few bushes, they were almost completely covered in the soft paper, but Boris’s roll was almost completely empty. While they had good coverage on the bushes and tree, everything else was toilet paper free. 

This was their third house, and they still had trouble managing their supplies. Sighing at the fact they were nearly finished. Scanning the yard for other objects to ‘decorate,’ he settled on a plastic flamingo wrapping nearly the entirety of his remaining toilet paper around it. 

He and Boris stepped back to admire their lawn redecoration. The place looked like a toilet paper filled tornado just passed, it would probably take a couple hours to clean. “That house ever their would be -pur-fect,” Boris whispered tapping Cali’s shoulder, and pointing to a house down the road. 

The house was covered in lawn ornaments, with the car out on the carport, giving them plenty of areas to cover, but Caligosto immediately thought of a better place to use his last two rolls.

“Eh, that place would work, but I have a better idea. Let’s go back to the apartment.” Cali replied, turning towards Boris’s car. Boris was clearly disappointed at the prospect of the night being over, but still followed Cali to the car. 

“Why cant we Tea-pee that house?” Boris asked sadly.

Cali turned to him and smiled, “Why trash that house, when we can get a little revenge on apartment 14C?” He asked with an evil grin. Boris looked at him a bit confused, so Cali clarified, “With our old roommates Jenny and Sam.”  
Hearing that, Boris’s eyes immediately lit up and he began sprinting to the car, Cali following behind him. What could be a better way of ending the night than with some petty revenge.

***

As it turned out, TPing someone's balcony was a lot harder than either of them had expected. They only hit the Balcony every other throw, and more often than not No toilet paper even unrolled making even those throws worthless. There had been other pranks Caligosto considered subjecting them to. Like the old flaming bag of dog poop, or egging their door, but both of those ideas came with problems. Mainly they didn’t own any dogs, and Cali certainly wasn’t going to search the grass for stuff to fill the bag with, and the fact that eggs would stink up the entire area, forcing him and Boris to smell it too. 

“Let’s just TP the entire floor,” Caligosto finally suggested after nearly half an hour of fruitless efforts. HE was beginning to wish he had just done that house Boris initially suggested, but it was too late to change it now. 

“That might be a good idea,” Boris sighed as he pulled the rolls of paper from the bushes.   
They made their way up to the third floor slower than usual. As soon as they arrived Boris half heartedly threw a toilet paper roll in the direction of 14C, it unrolling all the way. Forcing a smile Cali did the same, leaving a trail down the hallway. Cali ran to pick his roll, only to be hit in the head with Boris’s toilet paper. 

“Snow-ball fight.” Boris said clearly wanting to yell, but not wanting to wake the entire apartment complex. Cali grabbed both rolls, Boris began to back away, but still got a direct hit to the face. He smiled grabbing the roll, while Cali held up his to block, oh it was on. 

***

Cali and Boris looked at the mess they had created in the stairwell, while it didn’t feel like it, the free for all lasted only a couple minutes before both rolls had been thoroughly depleted. Leaving the floor a paper covered mess. 

Quietly, to prevent waking any of the neighbors, (though the noise they made already could’ve easily done that,) they slipped back to their apartment. Instinctively Cali made a beeline for the bathroom to brush his teeth. It was only then that he got a good look at the makeup Boris had applied. While the eyeliner was a bit more dramatic than he liked, the lipstick fit him perfectly. Not just for Halloween either, for regular use too, he might have to ask Boris for the brand later. 

As he opened the bathroom door to leave, he came face to face with Boris who had changed out of his old clothes, and looked more or less normal (other than the green skin and fake scars anyway,) before Cali could ask him about his lipstick brand Boris shot forward a question of his own “Cali, do you think may-bee we do that again, before next Hall-o-een?”   
Cali couldn’t stop the growing smile on his face, he had always wanted to try his hand at pranking, and with a partner in crime, even more opportunities were opening up. “I guess we can find the time to do it more often,” He answered, trying not to look too eager.

As Boris cheered at Cali’s answer, Caligosto couldn’t help but think of all the trouble he could get into now he had a trusting friend, and his parents weren’t watching them all the time. Soon, he thought, they’d be the biggest trouble makers of the apartment complex, and if they were really lucky the entire dental school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I can finally write something other than all this teeth rotting fluff. Stay tuned for, "Thanksgiving in the Loboto household."  
> Also, here's the Redrunrose comic I referenced this chapter. https://cabinetofdrcaligosto.tumblr.com/post/611231898205847552/oh-sir-youre-wearing-lipstick


	5. Thanksgiving in the Loboto Household.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boris attends Thanksgiving Dinner at Caligosto's parents house. While there, he learns far more than he anticipated.

“And if Mom offers to give you a tour of her garden SAY NO.” Caligosto muttered as he went over the very long list of do’s and don'ts for the meeting with his parents. Boris was only half paying attention. He hated to ignore his friends advice, but he had been going on for over an hour at this point. 

“Why cant eye go see the flowers?” Boris asked innocently. All of Cali’s advice up until now made some form of sense, but visiting a garden sounded nice. 

Cali rolled his eyes and looked over at Boris before slamming on the brakes due to avoid running a stop sign. “Because, she will go on hours and hours about everything she knows about flowers, and since she’s a florist she knows a LOT.”

Boris had no idea why that was so bad, it even sounded quite pleasant. Just the fact they agreed to let him come with Cali to the family’s Thanksgiving dinner gave Boris high hopes for Cali’s parents. They seemed pretty nice other than the occasional phone arguments they had with their son. 

Before Caligosto had convinced them to let Boris eat with his family, Boris just planned to stay home and watch TV all day. His family didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, at least not when he had been living with them, and even if they did he wouldn’t show up if they paid him. Just by the invite and news that Cali’s Mom was a florist alone, Boris wished he had them as parents instead. 

Boris didn’t get to dwell on that much longer, because Cali made a sharp turn into a small suburban neighborhood. Everytime Cali did anything other than drive straight Boris regretted letting him be the driver, then again Cali gave terrible directions. He'd often wait until Boris had only a couple of seconds left to tell him to make a turn, or often just forget to tell him altogether. Maybe letting him drive wasn’t a bad idea. After all despite his recklessness he had never gotten any tickets, nor had he ever returned the car in a condition any worse than when he had taken it. 

Cali turned another slightly less roughly, before slowing his car to a stop in front of a log house with some red coloring around the edges, the whole place was surrounded by yellow and pink flowers, much like the ones on Caligosto’s shower cap. 

“We’re here, if it wasn’t obvious,” Cali said flatly as he began undoing his seatbelt. “Wait,” Cali’s voice took on a more serious term, more intense than anything Boris had seen from him thus far. “If you see anything at the table you don’t recognize, DON’T eat it. It’s Thanksgiving so we’re probably safe, but the last thing I need is to miss tomorrow's sale on Atari’s because you have food poisoning. One more, I’ve never heard you talk about them before, but whatever you do, DO NOT talk about Psychics for ANY. REASON. Got it?”  
Cali practically spit out the word psychic, it was as if the word itself made him physically ill. Boris nodded sheepishly, the only thing he knew about psychics was they could do cool things with their mind. Like lifting stuff up with their mind, or turning invisible. He knew a lot of people hated them, including his own parents, but Boris saw no reason why they should. Some people were just born different, and trying to fight that just led to a world with a lot more frownies for both sides. 

Still if hearing about them hurt Caligosto and his family so much, Boris saw no reason to just not bring them up. He wasn’t planning on it anyway. Still the fact Cali had been so insistent he didn’t bring it up left him curious.

With little warning Cali pushed open the door and sprinted to the front lawn to greet his parents. 

“Mom! Dad!” Cali yelled as he got closer.  
“Welcome back Son,” The guy in the suit, presumably Caligosto’s father said lifelessly as Cali approached. 

“We missed you,” the woman standing next to him in the flower dress continued, in an equally unenthusiastic voice. 

While Mr. and Mrs. Loboto hadn’t said or done anything wrong yet, Boris couldn’t help but shudder as he heard their voices. Boris quickly pushed all those negative thoughts away. They had been good people, and even better parents to Loboto. Still something about them felt so… off. 

Boris opened the door, and wore his best closed mouth smile. Not liking people for stuff they couldn’t control just filled the world with frownies, right? 

***

“I would just love to show you the garden,” Mrs. Loboto said wistfully as she pointed her finger out to the greenhouse in the backyard. Before following up with, “would you like to see all the flowers I’ve been growing?” Behind her, Boris could see Cali desperately signaling for Boris to say no. 

Silently, Boris apologized to Caligosto, before eagerly answering, “Oh, eye wood love see evry-thing in you’re gaurd-in.” Mrs. Loboto opened up the back door and beckoned Boris to follow her. From the corner of his eye he could see Caligosto was scowling, and holding his hand in a rather rude gesture. Boris shrugged and began making his way to the greenhouse. This was his first chance to be able to share his interest with someone without being judged. Surely there was nothing wrong with that. 

Before Boris knew it, over two hours had passed, and they were heading back into the kitchen for Thanksgiving “Dinner.” (Boris had to idea why it wasn’t called Thanksgiving lunch, they ate it at lunch time) The table was set with all manner of fancy foods. He knew that was what to expect from what everyone had told him in school, but seeing so much good food in one place still caught him a little off guard. 

As he walked past the table, he couldn’t see anything unfamiliar, maybe Cali had been wrong about that too. Boris was so excited about the upcoming meal, washing his hands until he knew all the dirt was out from under his nails was torturous. Still, it made the time he was sitting at the table next to his best friend all the sweeter. 

Everyone was all but ready to dig in, until Mrs. Loboto walked into the dining room with a large black pot covering a plate. “Gentleman,” she squealed as she began lifting the cover off her creation, “I’d like to unveil my greatest new dish, pig brain marinated in chocolate sauce.”

The room was silent as they sized up the concoction that laid before them. Even though Boris had no plans of touching it, let alone eating it, the meal he already had put on his plate immediately felt far less appetizing. Nervously, Boris looked over Cali, who was staring at the dish with absolute horror on his face. While Boris appreciated the advice Caligosto had given him earlier, it had been unnecessary. The only way Boris possibly would’ve touched that monstrosity with a ten foot pole, were if it were to get out of having to see his family. 

Finally, Mr. Loboto broke the silence, with a very uncertain, “Oh, that looks great honey... I can’t wait to dig in… and enjoy all the work you put into this… entree…” Mrs. Loboto smiled before returning to the kitchen to grab something she could use to cut the disgusting mess.

As soon as everyone knew Mrs. Loboto was out of earshot, Caligosto muttered “Father, why do you always LIE. This is going to be the reason I never get married.”

Mr. Loboto opened his mouth to respond, but didn’t have the chance to answer, because Mrs. Loboto was already coming through the hallway with a large dull knife. 

With no warning she crudely stabbed it into the front of the brain with the pointy end, before making sawing motions with the knife in hopes of cutting the slab of meat. As Mrs. Loboto began leaning into the dish, Boris looked over to see what Caligosto and Mr. Loboto were doing, in hopes of passing the time until they could eat. Mr. Loboto was watching with a look of exasperation. This was probably a regular occurrence in this household. 

Caligosto’s reaction was completely different. He held his head in his hands, covering his eyes as if it were the most gruesome sight of his life. Boris looked away quickly, whatever was going on with Cali, he didn’t like it.  
Finally, after giving up on sawing and using her knife like a hammer until she got her aggression out. Mrs. Loboto left for the kitchen again to grab a sharper knife. As soon as she left, Mr. Loboto’s attention turned towards his son. In a voice almost uncharacteristically angry, Mr. Loboto immediately laid into him. “Caligosto Loboto, what was THAT. Are you seriously so weak that you freak out over your mother cutting the dish she made for us.”  
“Father- I’m really sorry. I should've-”  
“You’d better be, we really want what’s best for you. You’ve just been so determined to ruin that. Ever since you were a little kid you’ve done everything in your power to disgrace the Loboto name!”

Every part of Boris wanted to stand up for his friend, but this being Cali’s parents, he was afraid any attempts at intervening would just hurt him more. That was always the case with Boris’s parents. 

Caligosto sniffled, before pushing himself away from the table. “I’m uh, I’m sorry Dad. I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Caligosto spoke those last words with a tear dripping down his face. As soon as he was free of his chair, he sprinted down the hall, no longer holding back his sobbing. 

Boris gazed over at Mr. Loboto with horror on his face, “Oh don’t worry, the monster will come back eventually.” Boris could barely process what he was hearing, Cali a monster. He was a little strange, but the nicest person Boris had ever known, that had to be a mistake. Right? 

Was there any good way Boris could respond to that? He didn’t want to insult his friend, because Cali really didn’t deserve it, but his parents might try to ruin the friendship. Luckily Mrs. Loboto came into the room before Boris had to answer.

“Now that we have a sharper knife, cutting it should be much easier… Where’s Caligosto run off to?” Mrs. Loboto’s tone immediately shifted from cheerful, to irritated. Still it gave Boris hope. He hadn’t had the opportunity to really talk to Mr. Loboto before lunch, but he and Mrs. Loboto had talked for hours. Surely she’d be different, right?”  
“As soon as you left the room he burst into tears and ran into the bathroom.” Mr. Loboto muttered. Every inch of him made Boris want to scream how that wasn’t true at all. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize that would upset him so much, but the procedure was twelve years ago. He really needs to get over it already.” Mrs. Loboto replied with hints of disgust in her voice. 

Procedure, what procedure? Did it have anything to do with Caligosto’s lost arm and the scars on his head? They probably wouldn’t answer, but it couldn’t hurt to ask right. 

“What, pro-seed-your?” Boris finally asked. Mr. and Mrs. Loboto momentarily paused their discussion to look at Boris.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Mrs. Loboto asked. 

“Well we told him to keep it a secret honey. The last thing people need to know is that you gave birth to a freak.” Replied, Mrs. Loboto was momentarily taken aback by those words. Sensing her discomfort Mr. Loboto quickly followed it up with, “It wasn’t your fault that we had him as a son.”  
Freak? Caligosto wasn’t a freak, while Boris himself knew he was far from normal, Cali was no stranger than him. Why were they saying this about their own son?  
“So, I heard you are also in school to become a dentist.” Mr. Loboto said, changing the subject. Boris gave a sigh of relief, at least they had changed the subject away from Cali, even if he hated dental school. 

“Да, eye mean yes,” Boris answered quickly, anything to get them away from the subject of Caligosto. Though as it turned out, that was just to lead into a new way to tell him how Cali had ruined their lives. 

Mr. Loboto cleared his throat, “We always wanted to raise our kid to be a Doctor.. When he was a baby, we were positive he’d turn out just like his Dad. That dream was crushed after he bent all the spoons in the kitchen. We still hoped he couldmake something of himself, instead of stupid dream of his about being a ship captain. Unfortunately, our efforts just resulted in him picking the worst field of medicine to get into. Dentists aren’t real Doctors, they can’t even save lives!” Mr. Loboto yelled. 

Boris flinched, he had always assumed Cali chased dentistry out of passion, rather than as a way to partially appease his parents. He knew that feeling, and he knew it well. There was also the fact that Mr. Loboto had yelled that last part loudly enough that Boris was positive that Cali could hear it from the bathroom. 

“Caligosto just doesn't understand what we do for him. We sacrificed so much to give him a normal life. He even had to stay at a mental hospital for almost a year after the procedure. Visiting him so often was exhausting, especially since half the time he didn’t even recognize us. After all our hard work, he chooses to be a dentist.” Mrs. Loboto cried. 

Boris felt nothing but pure disgust at everything in the room. Ironically enough that pig brain was far from the worst thing at that table. Boris pulled his chair back, “Eye’m check-ing on Cali.” He muttered as he turned in the direction he had seen Caligosto run after the scolding from his father. 

The hallway was decorated with several framed colored photographs over flowery wallpaper. The first one to catch Boris’s eye featured Cali as a child sitting on a fence between his parents. He was holding lots of flowers in his arms, (yes both of them.) while flowers floated around the family, held aloft by a strange yellow light. Cali’s smile was so cute, there weren’t enough smiles like that in the world. Scars were noticeably absent from his forehead. 

The picture next to it, did not sport that same smile. Mr. and Mrs. Loboto were dancing, while Caligosto stood off to the side. He didn’t look much older, but his arm was now gone, and he now had that scar across his head. Cali looked like he was about to cry at any second. 

Under those two pictures, there was a small wooden table. On top of it, there were two books that looked to be family photo albums. Boris knew he was probably intruding, but after what he had heard from the parents, and seen from the two photos, he knew the Loboto family had a secret, and he wasn’t going to let it slip from his fingers that easily. 

Boris Flipped through the first album quickly. It was nothing but pictures of Mr. and Mrs. Loboto, the house, and the garden. The second however was far more interesting. It was all pictures of Cali growing up. 

It started with pictures of Caligosto as a baby, there wasn’ much information to be gleaned from them, but they were cute. As he got older, floating objects began appearing in the pictures. It wouldn’t be noticeable unless you were looking for it, but once you saw it, it was unmistakable. 

Cali was always happy and smiling in those pictures. He was often doing crazy things like holding an Octopus, or wearing his Mom’s har and heels. Boris’s personal favorites were the pages of him playing with his parrot, “Crackers.” It all ended abruptly, with a picture of ten year old Loboto standing over a pile of bent spoons, crying his eyes out. From then on, Cali looked less and less happy in his pictures, while the number of floating objects in the pictures gradually increased. 

It all ended with a picture of Cali standing in front of the door, he had a toy chest in hand, and he looked terrified. Evern from the black and white graininess of the photo’s in had been evident Cali had been crying for hours prior. 

The next segment of the book was the most horrifying yet. They were all pictures of Cali first in the hospital, and later in what looked to be an asylum. His arm was now gone, and over half of his head was obscured by bandages. The area that had the massive scar Caligosto worked so hard to hide. 

Even after Cali had gotten out of the hospital, he didn’t look the same. He no longer smiled at the camera, only stared blankly. Once the bandages had been removed, Boris’s suspicion was confirmed, as the stitch pattern was in its place. 

Eventually, Caligosto returned to normal. Going back to being his hyper and energetic person Boris had known Though the floating objects completely disappeared from the photo’s entirely, and Boris combed all of them repeatedly. The final picture in the album was Cali giving a fake smile at his graduation. Boris slammed it shut, the shock of all he had seen setting in. 

It all made sense now, Cali’s insistence that Boris not talk about in front of his parents, the floating objects and bent spoons, his parents calling him a freak. Caligosto wasn’t a monster, Boris knew that all along. He was just one of those people born a little different, in a good way. 

But his parents must’ve destroyed whatever Cali had in the same was Boris’s own parents had broken his smile. Boris’s eyes wandered to the clock, he had been standing in the hallway for twenty minutes. He knocked on every door until he heard Cali answer. 

“I’ll be out in a minute, I’m sorry for skipping the meal. I know Mother was excited.” Cali yelled through the door in a hoarse voice. 

“Cali, it’s me Boris. eyem not mad at you.” Boris whispered in his most soothing voice. Almost as soon as he had let the words out the door was pulled open, and Cali walked out. From the looks of it, his face had just been washed, repeatedly. 

“Let’s just eat lunch and get it over with,” Cali sighed as he bagan walking in the direction of the dining room. Boris ran to follow him, hoping Mr. and Mrs. Loboto wouldn’t say such horrible things in front of Cali. 

“Oh, Cali, your back!” Mrs. Loboto said with fake friendliness in her voice. “While you were away Boris had been telling me how you grow tooth lilies. Not wanting to lie to Cali, or crush him by telling him the truth, Boris just shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth, and hoped the parents wouldn’t try to make him lie to cover up what they said. 

***

Boris waited in the passenger side of the car. Listening in to the conversation Caligosto and his Mom was having. “That Boris kid seems like a good friend, keep it that was.” Mrs. Loboto growled as Cali began making his way to the car. Boris hadn’t objected when Cali had asked if he could drive back. He needed a lot of time to process all he had seen and heard that day. 

“Goodbye Son.”  
“We love you.”  
Those were the last things Boris heard from Caligosto’s parents as they began driving back on the path of the main road. The two of them had left almost as soon as the meal was finished. Neither of them liked football, and even if they did the dinner went so poorly, sticking around would’ve been awkward. 

“Mom and Dad already agreed to go across the country to my Grandfather’s for Thanksgiving, so we won’t be able to come next year.”

Boris just nodded half heatedly. There were a million things he wanted to say, but he needed more time to gather his thoughts, a lot more time. He wished he and Cali could run away together. Somewhere without parents. Somewhere Boris could peruse his dreams as a florist and make people smile. Somewhere Cali could be the captain of a ship and sail over the ocean. Somewhere where nobody called them monsters for the way they were born. A place where they could just be themselves.

“So, how do you like my parents?” Cali asked his voice full of fake enthusiasm. He didn’t know any of the things that had happened while he was away, and Boris didn’t have the heart to tell him yet. 

“Oh, you’re pear-ants? They are jsut like mine.” Boris answered as he starred sadly at the trees passing by the window. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chapter has gone through more iterations and changes than any other. Most of all Boris's dynamic with Caligosto's parents. They were originally going to be super cold and distant to both of them, but I realized how much harder it would hit if they pretended to be sweet, but showed their true colors the moment Caligosto was out of the room. Also, in the original chapter, Boris didn't learn the truth at all, but I liked the idea of his parents telling him half the story, since they saw nothing wrong with the situation so they told it to him as if it were the most casual thing on earth.  
> Anyway, this is my favorite chapter so far.  
> PS; The Pig Brain with Chocolate Sauce is from a Garfield comic, and I originally wrote it in with Cali going to the bathroom to avoid eating it, but then I realized Cali would probably be pretty squeamish about a brain being cut up and eaten in front on him.  
> PPS; The brain cutting is a reference to Tim Schafers school of Dullinary, and if you have not read that tweet yet, please do.


	6. A somewhat Merry Christmas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the disastrous Thanksgiving Dinner, Caligosto can't help but notice that Boris has been acting very different. So, he decides to do everything in his limited budget and power to him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another chapter that requires several fillings from reading due to the fluff, but I think we need some after that last chapter.

“Why iz it so lowd in hear?” Boris grumbled as he stood behind Cali, in the checkout line at the video store. Boris had insisted Cali take him to pick up their new atari, but he had been completely out of it all morning. Really he had been out of it since Cali’s mother had tried to make him eat that pig brain the previous day, as far as Caligosto could tell Boris hadn't eaten any of it (thank god,) but it had shaken him up substantially. 

It certainly hadn’t done Caligosto any favors, watching the brain be stabbed and cut brought back some… unpleasant memories. Boris had been almost completely silent for the remainder of the day, so when he asked for Cali to drive him home early, Cali was more than happy for the excuse to end the visit while they were ahead. 

As the last person in front of them checked out Cali shook Boris’s arm, whispering “We’re at the front of the line.” Boris reached into his purse, he rooted around for a few seconds before giving up and handing it to Cali. Cali glared at him before pulling out three twenties, a ten, and a five, and handing that to the cashier along with his credit card. Atari’s had recently had a big price drop, that combined with the Black Friday sale meant they were only paying half of what had been as asking price just a few months prior. 

“Okay, due to the sale you can pick between one of these games.” The woman behind the counter groaned. She lifted two games from under the counter, one read Pacman, while the other was the far more familiar and comforting ‘Asteroids.

“We should get asteroids, it’s way better.” Caligosto suggested. Boris nodded his head in agreement. Probably not even understanding a word Cali had just said, still it was enough for Caligosto to claim he had gotten Boris’s input on the situation. 

“We’ll take the copy of Asteroids,” Caligosto announced as he pushed Pacman out of his direct field of view. The woman behind the register scanned the small box, before placing it and the Atari they had bought in a bag on the counter. 

Cali grabbed the Atari off the counter and cradled it, this would save them a lot of trips to the arcade. To Caligosto’s surprise they had only had to wait for a couple minutes before getting to the front of the line. Perhaps waking Boris at two o’ clock in the morning had been a little excessive. Maybe if Cali had waited until four he’d be dealing with less complaints. 

Grabbing Boris, Caligosto stepped out of the video store and into the rest of the mall. Despite all the crazy sales, the mall was still less populated than an average summer afternoon. Cali scanned the line of stores, there had to be one other they could hit before the mall just got too crowded. 

Finally he settled on the beauty shop at the edge of the mall. It wouldn’t be his first choice, but it had a buy 2 get 1 free deal on everything, and it would be the perfect opportunity to get Boris to spill the beans of the lipstick brand he had given Cali a month prior. 

Caligosto led Boris into the lipstick aisle, before asking, “So, which one of these is the one you gave me?”    
Boris didn’t respond, so Cali asked the question again, “Yesh, that one,” Boris answered, not even opening his eyes.

Realizing this conversation would be going nowhere fast Cai marched over to the perfume aisle. Spotting the coffee beans next to the samplers Cali grabbed the bowl before returning to Boris, who was now leaning on the shelf. 

“Wake up!” Cali hissed as he showed Boris’s face in the bowl. Boris let out a yelp before nearly toppling the shelf behind. Boris looked at Cali with a look of exhaustion. Worried that his friend would go back to sleep, Caligosto decided to nip that at the bud, “If you don’t get your act together the next place we are going is wherever you buy smelling salts, then we’ll see who’s going back to sleep. Speaking from experience I can tell you, you REALLY don’t want that.”   
Panicked Boris continued smelling the coffee beans. “Good, you're awake. So about that makeup you gave me last Month…”

***

“Well, well well, look who’s finally woken up!” Cali called as Boris pushed through the door to his room. Despite seeming far more awake and cooperative after Cali’s little threat, the moment Cali had driven Boris back to the apartment he had gone straight back to bed. And slept for an additional five hours. 

Boris had a very strict sleeping schedule. 10 PM was “beddy time” and he always woke up from 7:00-7:30 AM. While waking him up was generally a bad idea, keeping him up was a death wish. Cali had made that mistake once, and learned just how threatening a sleep deprived Boris could be. Ever since then, the apartment was quieter than a Library once Boris brushed his teeth. 

Waking Boris up was a little safer, but unless he made up his lost sleep later, Cali would be dealing with a very cranky friend for the rest of the day. So to avoid any anger Boris might have he just let him be. 

“How late did eye sleep?” Boris asked, rubbing his eyes. 

“It’s past two now,” Caligosto answered pointing to the clock directly over Boris. Boris opened his mouth to say something, probably a complaint or asking why Cali had woken him up so early. So Cali cut him off, “Before you went to bed you said you wanted to come along to the Black Friday shopping, don’t complain now. Oh, and I made lunch while you were asleep, it’s nothing fancy, but all my cooking experience comes from watching my Mother, and I think we both know the problem with that.” 

Boris wordlessly grabbed his plate off the counter before sitting at the table across from Caligosto, and holding one half of his grilled cheese sandwich in his hands. Despite his missing teeth Boris was usually all smiles, so the fact Cali hadn’t even seen a hint of happiness for over a day was very concerning. 

“Boris did something happen Yesterday? Other than my Mother serving her ‘new recipe.’ Or if it was me waking you up this Morning that made you upset, I’m sorry, I should’ve waited or gone alone.” Boris looked up stunned, this was the first time Cali had ever openly apologized for anything before. 

“Its not yew Cali, eye just domt want talk a-bout it!” Boris cried. Burying his head in his hands and dropping his lunch back on his plate. Caligosto left the kitchen in order to give his friend some space. Boris made it clear he wasn’t going to come out and tell Cali the problem. 

So what could Cali do to take his mind off the problem, whatever it was. He racked his brain trying to find some form of distraction, then it hit him. Cali had always hated the people who decided it was Christmas the day after Thanksgiving was over, his Mother was one of those people. But if it pulled Boris out of his slump he would do just that. 

Wearing the biggest smile he could, Cali pushed open his bedroom door, startling Boris who was still absentmindedly eating his sandwich. “Hey Boris, do you have any Christmas decorations?”    
“Sorre Cali, hollly-days are-nt very fun fun win I am on my own. Sew eye dom’t have any decky-rate-shins.” Boris answered. Cali thought for a moment before running to his room to grab some paper, this would be even better. If Boris didn’t have any ornaments, they just had to make their own. 

Cali dropped the stack of supplies in front of Boris’s plate while he looked on, a bit confused. “Well Boris, if we don’t have any decorations we can use to spice up this place, we’ll just have to make our own! You're good with paper right?” He asked. Boris’s eyes lit up. Good, this would keep Boris distracted for a while, maybe he’d be in a good enough mood to set up the Atari once they were finished. 

***

Caligosto couldn’t help but admire the living room every time he returned home from work. He had done a little of the work, but Boris had transformed that stack of copy-paper into a string of Snowflakes, Used construction paper to make Ornaments, and even made an Origami Flower wreath for the door. Wasn’t very Christmas themed, but Boris had been smiling the entire time he made it and Cali didn’t want to ruin in. 

Something was still clearly bothering him, but otherwise he was back to his normal self. 

The only things that were missing were a Christmas tree and lights, though neither of them had any presents to go under the tree, and without a tree lights weren’t necessary. Caligosto didn’t have to fake his excitement for Christmas, it was tied for Halloween as his favorite Holiday after all, though he preferred to temper his excitement until it was the week of. 

With nothing else to do except wait until the end of Boris’s shift to bring the car over, Caligosto flipped the switch for the Atari and began playing Asteroids. Normally he’d work on whatever studying, homework, or coursework he needed to do, while he waited for Boris to finish his shift, but the semesters had just ended a few days prior. So for the next month, the Atari was the best way to kill time while he waited. 

While he was enjoying Asteroids, his attention couldn’t help but be drawn to a bare patch of the wall that would’ve been perfect for a Christmas tree. Boris’s words rang in his ear, “Sorre Cali, hollly-days are-nt very fun fun win I am on my own.” Boris wouldn’t be Celebrating the Holiday alone, he’d have Cali to keep him company, it wouldn’t be much of a Christmas if nobody gave him anything. 

Due to all the extra hours he was getting, Caligosto could easily afford to get Boris something, but what would Boris want. While wondering what the perfect gift for Boris would be his eyes wandered to the clock. Crap! Boris only has 15 minutes left of his shift!

Cali quickly switched the Atari off before grabbing Boris’s keys and making a beeline for the car. He could find a way to cheer Boris up later, the last thing he needed to do right now was make his mood worse, besides talking to Boris might give him a few hints on what he could want. 

***

“ Калла Лили!” Boris squealed as he opened the driver side door and fell back into his seat. Boris usually yelled some variation of his name as greetings whenever one of them would pick the other one up from class/work, but that name was a new one, it probably just meant Caligosto in Russian. Cali might have to ask him about it later. 

“Did you have a good day at work?” Caligosto asked cautiously. Boris’s mood seemed to be genuinely good for the first time, and the last thing Cali wanted to do was ruin it. 

“We had a new ship-ment of Violas’, and write at the end of my shift, a fam-ill-e came in, they all picked out the new flowers, and left with smilies on their faces!” Boris cheered as Caligosto began to smile. Boris was finally going back to his old self. 

As Boris pulled out of the parking lot, Caligosto couldn’t help but notice he was going in the opposite direction of the apartment complex. 

“Boris the-”   
“Eye thought may-bee be-cause my work went so well too-day we could go to the are-cade to cellery-break.” Boris interrupted, 

Cali opened his mouth, a thousand questions in his head. He and Boris only ever went to the Arcade during weekends, or after work on pay days. Today was neither, he quickly shut it. The arcade would be the perfect place to figure out what Boris could be wanting for Christmas. 

Caligosto couldn’t help but grin like an idiot, even if this trip was to find out what Boris would want, they would have to play a couple of games of Snake before they left. 

***

Boris and Caligosto stood in the center of the arcade, as usual it was mostly children all swarming, the newer games like Mario Brothers. Cali never really cared that they never got to play on the newest arcade cabinets. They put some sort of blocker on there so they couldn’t put any of their favorite phrases in the leaderboard, and that was half of the fun of playing these games afterall. 

Boris scooped four quarters out of his pocket and handed them to Caligosto. “You pick the cab-e-net first, eye will play with yew or watch.” Boris whispered as Cali examined the coins. Usually Cali would jump at the chance to play his games with Boris, and be able to pick first, especially since Boris was paying.

Unfortunately, Caligosto was on a mission today, so Snake would have to wait. He pushed he money back into Boris’s hand, “This is your money, you pick out the games.” Cali said, trying to sound frustrated. 

“No, Cali, itz for YEW. You de-serve it for all you-ve been through.” Boris muttered, giving the money back to him. 

Caligosto looked back at Boris puzzled, “What are you talking about Boris? My first semester of Dental School was hard, but it was nothing compared to the process of actually getting in.”

Boris slapped his hand over his mouth, Cali could hear very muffled Russian profanity before he reached his hand out and grabbed the coins. “Fine, eye will play the game first if it really makes yew happy.” Boris muttered before making a beeline to the Pong cabinet at the end of the room. Cali should’ve known, Pong was really one of the only three games they played religiously, the others being Asteroids and Snake. Though usually it was Caligosto choosing Snake, and not Boris. 

After a game Boris turned to Cali, “Are yew gonna pick a game now?” He asked, still looking mortified. With no reason to avoid playing, Cali grabbed a quarter and took off across the arcade. With any luck, he could get a high score and put his mark for the world to see. 

***   
Caligosto stepped out of the video store, and into the bitter cold he knew and tolerated. He couldn’t believe he had put off buying Pong until the 22nd, but finding an excuse to grab Boris his present that didn’t conflict with his work schedule, require him to find some form of excuse to borrow Boris’s car, or require him to pick up Boris immediately afterwards. Cali stared at the thin cardboard box that contained the gift for his friend. 

It hadn’t been kind on Cali’s wallet, but his roommate was worth it, besides Cali could play it whenever he wanted, which was certainly a plus. All he had to do was get it home, wrap it, and hide it. It couldn’t be that hard, right?    
***

“Stupid, why did this have to be the ONE morning I slept in,” Caligosto thought to himself as he pushed his Prosthetic arm in place. Every other night he’d wake up after only four hours of sleep, and be too upset to go back to bed. Though he knew it would be ineffective, he hid the present behind his back as he stepped into the hall. As expected, Boris was waiting at the table, with a… brightly colored bag?

“Marry Christ-mas  Калла Лили,” Boris greeted him with a smile. Cali stared at the bag confused. “Itz for YEW!” Boris whispered. 

Setting Boris’s present next to the bag, Cali tore out the tissue paper, to be met with a game at the bottom reading Snake. 

Cali stared into the bag, with a growing smile on his face, he had no words. No words could describe the happiness and excitement or realizing that not only had his friend gone through the trouble of figuring out what his favorite game was, but he had actively tracked it down, and bought Cali a copy.

“Uh, I got you something too,” Cali finally said pointing to the crudely wrapped box on the table, he didn’t even have any Christmas paper so he had to use the flower print stuff Boris hoarded. Boris looked at it stunned. “Go on, open it!” Cali instructed. 

Boris slowly tore off the Paper revealing his gift. As soon as he saw it he ran across the table and hugged Cali tightly. If it were any other person or at any other time, Cali would’ve pushed them off, but for now he was happy enough to give a bit of a squeeze in return. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you who don't want to quickly run to google "Калла Лили" is Russian for "Calla Lily"


	7. Twas the Night after Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up from a nightmare, Boris tells Caligosto about what's been bothering him.

Boris looked down at his Tooth Lily and smiled, today was the day he was finally ready. Ready to be shown to Mom and Dad, it was finally time to make them stop grimacing and smile. Boris leaned forward giving Lily a kiss. As soon as his lips hit the pedal the door came flying open, it was Boris’s Dad… 

Boris woke up in a cold sweat, he instinctively ran from his room to the bathroom, turning the lights on to check his reflection. Boris held his lips open to get a good view of his mouth, as expected there were several gaps, where teeth should’ve been, ruining his once beautiful smile. At least his nose and mouth weren’t bloody.

The event happened over fifteen years ago, but it was so fresh in Boris’s mind, it felt as if it had happened all over again. Boris knew he couldn’t go back to sleep if he tried, at least not without something helping him. Maybe he could get a drink for Lily while he was at it.

Boris trudged to the kitchen, and began rifling through one of the upper cabinets. He hoped he had any alcohol strong enough to dull the pain, at least until-

“Boris,” a voice behind him rang out, “Care to explain while you're raiding the liquor cabinet at four o'clock in the morning?” Boris turned around quickly. Caligosto was holding the Atari controller in his arm while a pong game was going on behind him. He was giving Boris a look that fell somewhere between curious and annoyed.

“Eye’m sorry Калла Лили, eye was just… have-ing a night-mare…” Boris answered sniffling. Surprisingly, as soon as he heard the word “night-mare,” Cali’s face of irritation was replaced by one of concern and pity. 

They stared at each other for a moment, “Do you need to talk about it?” Cali gently asked, as he switched off the TV behind him, and took a seat on the couch.

Boris was shocked at how tenderly Cali had asked him that. He nervously stepped into the living room and sank into the chair. He didn’t want to bother his best friend with something as small as a bad dream, still it seemed like it might help in getting him in a state where he would be able to go back to sleep.

With no other options, Boris took in a few deep breaths before beginning his story.

***  
For as long as he could remember, Boris’s goal in life had been to make the world smile. Even when he was a toddler, he always did everything he could to make his parents smile. His Mom almost never smiled, and seeing his Dad smile was an even rarer sight, still that just made the moments they did even more special. 

Though for Boris, the times where he gave his biggest smiles always came whenever he visited his Aunt and Uncle. They were very nice and smiley people, but best of all they let him see the flower garden every time.

They day where they gave him his own plot of dirt to plant some Lilies, his favorite type of flower. Despite only having water, and no fertilizer to give his lilies, they grew up to be big, strong, and pretty. Even prettier than the flowers Uncle Habit grew. 

Boris’s secret, he kissed his lilies every visit. Kissing flowers helped them grow. His Uncle never taught him that, Boris just knew it to be true in his heart. His Sncle was so proud of him, on the day Boris and his parents packed up and left Russia, leaving his lovely lilies behind, his Uncle gave him a small gift box. The gift box contained a single Erythronium seed and a pot. 

Erythronium had some of the rarest and most expensive seeds in Russia. His UNcle was very proud of the four seeds he had managed to get his hand on, yet, he trusted Boris enough to believe he could grow a tooth lily. His Uncle's belief in him was one of the only things that got him through the struggles of learning a whole new language, and dealing with his parents increased anger and aggression. 

One day, after being subjected to a particularly nasty fight involving his parents, Boris formulated a plan. Him, and his Aunt and Uncle always smiled, and they spent lots of time with the flowers. Boris's Mom and Dad never saw the flowers, and they were some of the biggest frowners he knew. If he gave them a flower, maybe they would be just as happy as his aunt and uncle, it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

***

Caligosto quickly ran out of Boris’s bedroom and back into the hall, with Boris’s blanket slung over his arm, with his own blanket around his shoulders. When he asked Boris if he wanted to tell him about his nightmare he expected a few sentences about getting eaten by a monster or something, but when Boris started telling Caligosto about his childhood, Cali began feeling worried. 

If the story was going anywhere Caligosto expected it to go it would end up being very reminiscent of his own bad dreams. However, Cali had offered to listen to Boris’s story and he had no intention of backing out now. Having experienced them almost every night since he was ten, he was all too familiar with how miserable you could feel for the rest of the night. Cali doubted he could do anything to help, but at least listening to Boris’s story was better than nothing, at the very least he doubted it could do any harm. 

Cali had suspected the story would take a while to tell, so he offered to grab Boris a blanket once he thought he had reached a decent enough point to take a break. Despite the fact he was dreading where the story would be going, another part of him wanted to finish the story as soon as possible. Even if it did stir up things that should be left buried. 

As he arrived in the living room, Boris looked up at him from his chair. Even in the low light Cali couldn’t help but notice the reddish tint, and wetness to his eyes. Though he hadn’t made enough noise for Calogosto to hear, Boris had clearly been crying. 

“Are yew shure yew wamt to here about my bad dream?” Boris asked, trying to prevent his voice from shaking.

Caligosto sighed and looked down at his friend, even though he wasn’t planning on it, all chances of trying to send Boris back to bed went out the window. Forcing out the nicest voice he could, before holding out Boris’s blanket. No matter how badly Boris’s story was going to go, listening to Boris’s story was still a better way to spend his night than playing pong alone with his left arm.

*** 

Growing the tooth lily proved to be much more difficult than expected. Uncle Habit repeatedly told Boris that even with proper sunlight, fertilizer, and the right drink given to it, there was a high chance the lily would never grow. Still Boris continued on caring for the seed undeterred. 

Things got a little easier after the lily broke through the ground, but even with Boris’s daily kisses, the lack of sunlight due to hiding Lily to ensure his parents wouldn’t find him and ruin the surprise, as well as being unable to give it the right drink due to being a little kid made growing 

After several months of hard and secretive work, Lily was almost ready to be shown to Boris’s parents. Unfortunately, that day never came. A few days before “The Big Event” (as Boris called it) his Dad walked in and saw him kissing Lily. Mr. Habit yelled and screamed, all about how boys shouldn’t like lilies or kiss them to help them grow…  
***

“Lily got hurt, and sew did my Smile!” Boris cried. Caligosto looked at the huddled form as his friend as his words turned to sobs. Cali wanted to comfort his friend, but the closest he had ever been to a situation like that was when his Mom had broken down crying after scolding him for bending spoons. He tried to apologize and comfort her, it didn’t end well. 

With nothing else to do except watch Boris cry, Cali got up in the direction of the kitchen. Opening the fridge he saw a half gallon remained of the milk. Warm milk supposedly helped with nightmares and getting back to sleep. It never worked for Caligosto, but it would at least give him something to do while Boris cried himself out. 

Cali poured the milk into the pot and turned on the stove to the lowest setting. He didn’t know the first thing about cooking, he hadn’t so much as touched the stove since he moved into the apartment, and doubted Boris trusted he would have any form of cooking skills. It was a fair enough assessment, the only person who had told Caligosto a thing about cooking was his mother, and she had rather strange ideas of what made good food. 

Still, his lack of practice made the simple act of heating milk into a task far more difficult than it had any right to be. To avoid the possibility of burning the milk, Cali continued to shakily stir the entire time, and turned off the stove at the first sight of steam. Emptying the contents of the pot into two coffee cups. 

Not trusting himself to be able to carry both, Cali carried the first one to the coffee table, before Returning to the kitchen, handing the second mug directly to Boris. 

Boris eyed the cup, turning his head slightly as he tried to figure out what it contained. To ensure he wouldn’t be standing there until the mug became cold, Cali clarified its purpose “Apparently warm milk helps with nightmares and going back to sleep.” Boris gratefully grabbed at the cup, draining it in a matter of seconds. Caligosto took that cup, and handed Boris the other cup on the table, it wasn’t going to help him anyway, and Boris seemed to need it more than he did regardless. 

Despite the fact Boris was clearly upset when telling his story, Cali couldn’t help but try to pry a little more. They had been living together for nearly five months at this point, yet Boris hadn’t said a word about his life before moving into the apartment. It wasn't like Caligosto had told Boris the entire story of his childhood, he tried to keep as much of it under wraps as he could. 

It wasn’t like Boris would immediately move out of the apartment if he learned the truth either. He was too lonely to do that, secret aside. Caligosto never even had any friends prior to Boris either, unless he counted the daughter of one of the co-workers of his Dad, but they had only spoken a couple times, and it was all so long ago he couldn’t even remember her name. Either way, the less Boris knew the better. 

“What happened next?” Caligosto asked quietly, bracing himself for any backlash he could receive. Boris took another sip from his cup, before lifting his head up and cupping the steaming mug in his large claw like hands. 

Instead of telling Caligosto no, or going back to bed now that his story had been told. Boris opened his mouth, and told his story through to the end.

***  
Boris didn’t know what hurt him more, his own mouth and nose, being bloody beyond recognition, the pain in his mouth, and the fact it felt a bit breezier than it had before. Or the fact that Lily’s pot was smashed into a million pieces. Though Boris didn’t have any pots he could put Lily in, he quickly dug an old can out of the recycling, giving Lily an emergency repotting.

Once he knew Lily was safe, and back under the bed where his parents couldn’t find him. Boris rushed over to the bathroom to check on what damage had been done. It took him hours to be able to get a proper assessment of the damage that had been done due to the blood, but once it finally stopped Boris wasn’t in for a pretty sight. 

While he would certainly bruise, his face would be fine in the long run. HIs mouth on the other hand… several teeth were missing, destroying Boris’s once beautiful smile. Leaving ugly gaps in its place. 

If that were the end of everything, it would've been difficult, but things continued to escalate. While Boris never received any more beatings quite on the level that he had that fateful day, they were still frequent and terrible. 

Life at school wasn’t much better, he had always been bullied and ostracized, none of that was anything new, but it got progressively worse with each passing year. The bullies never mentioned his teeth, but Boris knew that was why everyone had gotten so much meaner. 

The lowest point of his school life had to be late middle school/high school. Despite the fact he tried his hardest to avoid her, he always wound up in class with a girl named Martha. Out of all the mean kids he had been stuck with, she made them look like they picked Boris flowers and baked him cake. 

As if she wasn’t bad enough, since their last names ended with ‘H’ he wound up sitting next to her in almost every class they shared. Most kids had the common decency to only call Boris names behind his back, or only taunt him before or after class, Martha was not one of those kids. 

Though the years crawled by, things didn’t get a whole lot better in the last year of highschool. Boris didn’t want to be a doctor, his parents were very adamant about him ending up in some form of medical field. Boris had long suspected they wouldn’t let him follow his dreams of being a florist, regardless of how many smiles he gave to the world.

With few other options left, Boris chose to pursue a career in Dentistry. He might not be able to make people smile directly, but being able to fix all the smiles like his that were broken and hurt would be better than nothing. 

Dentist school had been awful, nobody ever smiled, and his roommates had been terrible. It just wasn’t fair, why did all the happy people have broken smiles, while the frowners could keep their teeth and never use them. Boris hated it and he hated dentist school.

***

Boris drank down the last of his milk as he finished his story, there really wasn’t anything more he could tell. Despite all the bad memories the night had stirred up, just getting to talk about them had made him feel much better, all his anger, hurt and grief were still there, but he could manage them much better now. It wasn’t great, but it was better than he had felt before, and certainly less messy and hangover inducing than drowning his sorrows. 

Without a word, Caligosto picked up both mugs, and dropped them off in the sink. Boris was only now realizing just how tired he felt, that was a good sign, he doubted he would be suffering from anymore nightmares either, at least not for the rest of the night. 

“Good-knight Калла Лили,” Boris called out hoarsely as he began his slow trek down the hall to his room. After a night like this, his normally bumpy and uneven bed felt so soft and warm. Boris couldn’t help but give a weak smile as he climbed under the covers and closed his eyes. 

***

Caligosto starred down the hall as Boris disappeared through his bedroom door. Boris may be back in bed, enjoying two more hours of sleep, but Cali doubted he could pull off the same thing if he returned to his own bed. The chances of falling back to sleep were low, and in the rare scenarios where he did manage to return to the hazy dreamland almost always resulted in worse nightmares that had woken him up initially. 

Cali returned to the living room, before pressing the power button on the remote, returning the TV to it’s black, white, and static filled life. Preparing to pass the ball back and forth with the weak AI until Boris woke up again. If he reattached his prosthetic arm the game would be much easier, and it wasn’t like he had no plans of going back to bed. Still, he often put it off as long as he possibly could. 

Even with the Ai being on the easiest difficulty, he was still losing far more than he usually did. He just couldn’t get the thought of what Boris’s parents did to him out of his head. Boris never brought up his parents of his own accord, and anytime Caligosto had tried to ask him about it he would dodge the questions. 

After losing another game, Cali set the controller down, and fixed his eyes out the window. Boris was always acting so happy and cheerful, it felt so off to see him genuinely upset about anything, let alone what his own parents did to him. It was times like this where Caligosto was grateful for his parents. They could be harsh and downright scary when angry, but they would never do anything like that, at least not over something so harmless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrelated, but nothing felt less appropriate than singing “Smile Now You Will Be Loved” while writing this chapter.


	8. How to make hand-puppets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After searching Boris's room, Caligosto learns that Boris is trying to create a puppet that looks just like it.

In all the months Boris had been living in the apartment, he had slept in maybe five times. Even then the latest he had slept was until 9:00 in which he woke up, and flipped out over how late he slept. So when the clock hit 11:00, a very reluctant Caligosto found himself heading to Boris’s room to wake him up. Even on a normal day, Cali would avoid waking Boris like it was the plague, especially after Black Friday, but after last night he’d rather lose a limb than do anything to disturb Boris.  
He knew from experience that no amount of noise made outside of Boris’s room could wake him up. Still, in the futile attempt at waking him while reducing collateral damage, Cali quietly knocked before trying anything else. As expected, he received no response. After a few more tries, Caligosto went on to phase two of his emergency wake up plan, pounding on the doors screaming, “BOOORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!” Despite his annoyance at the situation, Cali couldn’t help but be jealous of Boris’s sleeping abilities. If someone’s dog so much as barked while walking past his apartment, Caligosto would be up for the rest of the night.  
Finally, Caligosto gave up on his futile endeavor and yanked the door handle open, preparing to give his loudest scream directly into Boris’s ear, before stopping just short. This was the first time he had ever gotten a good view of Boris’s room. Boris had been very adamant about making sure his door was closed and locked at all times. It wasn’t like Boris had been allowed in Cali’s room either, but Boris had gone through the trouble of buying a new lock just to keep Cali out anytime he wasn’t home.  
The inside of Boris’s room in full light crumpled up pieces of paper littered the floor. There were several piles of fabric, and what looked to be several deformed dolls laying on top of them. A single white flower, probably the Tooth Lily Boris had been talking about last night, lay on the windowsill in a painted pot. Cheesy handmade posters about smiling covered the walls, as several more lay on the floor as if they had fallen down.  
Though Boris’s room was stranger than the clothing covered, and tub toy filled one Caligosto lived in, he couldn’t help but be a little disappointed at how normal it was. Then again, Boris of all people would know the importance of keeping his door locked at all times. With that in mind,Cali decided to wake him up a little more gently than he originally planned.  
“Boris, get up.” Caligosto whispered as he shook Boris’s arm. Boris gave a big groan, before giving Cali a tired and confused look.  
“Eye’m still sleepy,” Boris muttered as he pulled the pillow over his face.  
Cali rolled his eyes, It was probably too late for Boris to be able to get to work on time anyway. “I’ll just call the store and tell them you're sick then,” Caligosto sighed as he took a step towards the door.  
He didn’t get too far, before Boris yelled, “Weight! Wat tine iz it?”  
“Quarter past eleven,” Cali answered matter of factly.  
Cali could hear Boris letting out a string of very colorful Russian profanity, before he pulled himself out of his bed, and slammed the door. It looked like Boris was going to work after all.  
With the door in his face, Cali returned to the kitchen to pour Boris a bowl of cereal. Despite the fact Boris insisted on cooking breakfast every morning, they had a few boxes of cereal in the off chance Boris was ever sick or away.  
A few minutes later Boris in his wrinkled uniform, came dashing out of his room, before disappearing into his bathroom. Anticipating where he would go next Cali grabbed the car keys off the counter and placed them on the table next to Boris’s breakfast.  
As expected, once Boris was finished getting somewhat ready in the bathroom, he scooped his stuff off the table and disappeared through the front door. Though not before giving a quick, “Buy Калла Лили” Leaving Caligosto alone in the apartment.  
Caligosto knew Boris would flip out if it even got back to him that Cali had been snooping around his room. Still the moment Boris drove out of the Apartment complex he gingerly tiptoed to the end of the hall. As his hand reached the door he stopped, Boris didn’t seem to be hiding anything, and if he had before, he had certainly spilled most of his secrets the previous night. The pause was only momentary though, if Boris had nothing to hide in there, he surely wouldn’t mind Cali going back to take a quick look.  
With his newfound resolve, Caligosto turned the knob, meeting no resistance, as he pushed open the door. As long as he didn’t make a mess or didn’t discover something too strange, Boris would never find out anyway. Besides, he probably wouldn’t even realize he left his door unlocked.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Boris nearly gave up on the idea of going to work when he hit the main road, and realized he had forgotten to lock his bedroom door. Caligosto really didn’t seem like the kind of person who would go snooping through Boris’s room, that was a lie, he certainly was, but if he was really determined to find out, he would’ve done so by now.  
It wasn’t like Boris had anything to hide, at least after last night. Still the idea of Cali rifling through his belongings made him nervous on several different levels.  
The fear Boris had about his room only served as a distraction to mask what was really eating away at him. Telling Caligosto about losing his smile, and the existence of Lily. What if Cali didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, what if he wanted to switch apartments, what if he hurt Lily?  
No, even at his angriest or most upset after a fight with his parents, Cali would never go into Boris’s room to hurt Lily, even the occasion where he took his anger out on his own stuff had only happened once, and that was after his parents had said some… cruel things to him, besides Caligosto had been nicer than usual this morning, Boris half expected him to come in bashing pots in pans in order to get him out of bed on black friday, or not even bothering to wake him up, leaving Boris to get in trouble with his boss.  
Cali wouldn’t leave the apartment over something that small, that was just silly. Caligosto had seen and done stranger things before, besides, he would probably be the person most understanding of horrible parents. Then again, he seemed to believe he was the bad one and his parents were right to hurt him the way he did.  
The only thing to pull Boris out of his deep thought, was the struggle of finding a parking spot. After he pulled into an open spot he checked his reflection in the rear view mirror. His hair was unbrushed, and his makeup wasn’t ready. He knew he couldn’t fix both of those issues in the two minutes he had before he had to clock in, but he could get rid of that ugly grimace of his. Forcing the largest smile he could, he grabbed his extra brush out of his driver side door. If he kept smiling, it would become real eventually right.  
Work might not be so bad, it would give him some time to figure out how he would talk to Caligosto tonight. Everything was probably fine, he was just overthinking things. At least if he kept thinking that maybe it would be true.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Despite the fact Caligosto already knew everything they would contain, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was intruding when he read Boris’s old diary entries. The only new information he could really gleam was that the flower on the window was indeed the Tooth Lily, and it apparently forgave Boris’s parents for what they did.  
Despite the fact it was Boris’s alcohol induced imagination that caused him to believe the flower forgave Boris’s parents, he couldn’t help but be mad at it. What if Boris listened to it, and continued letting his parents treat him the way he did?  
Realizing that he might be driven to do something he would regret, Caligosto turned his attention to the other strange thing in the room, Boris’s desk. Upon closer inspection, there were two separate but equally large piles on Boris’s desk, one of folded or ripped up paper. With a few paper dolls laying on and around it, while the other was full of all manor of fabrics, with creepy looking torn up sock puppets looking things in the pile.  
Behind it lay a book titled How to make live hand Puppets, and a crude drawing of what Habit would look like as a puppet. With the words ‘Lil’ Habby!’ Written on top. None of the puppets even vaguely looked like Boris, more like strange alien creatures with overly detailed smiles. Several scattered notes venting about the difficulty of making puppets lay on the chair, and floor around the desk.  
Cali sat down on the bed to take in everything around him. He failed to comfort Boris the previous day and that was his own fault, he just had to copy what his Mom had done for him before he got sick. At the very least a hug couldn’t hurt, still his eyes kept wandering to the Puppets in the corner. Boris’s project was rather ambitious, especially for someone with no experience with that kind of thing.  
Caligosto knew a thing or two about sewing from his Mother. He never had the opportunity to use his skills, and even if the chance ever did fall into his lap it was very unlikely that he would take it. Still, there wasn’t much else he could do in the days he was home alone.  
He hated having to walk across town, and put it off whenever he had too but he didn’t see any plausible way he would be able to slip the car to the craft store without looking suspicious. He could go out and grab it as soon as he got ready, but first it was nearly 12:30. Cali’s favorite show was on, the craft store wasn’t going anywhere.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
It was nearly 5:00 when Caligosto finally reached the crafting store, in hindsight he really should’ve known that any procrastination would just pile up. It wasn’t all bad, he brought in the mail, which would often pile up on his days off. What mattered was he would go in, buy all the necessary materials and leave. Though if the times that his Mom wandered around the store were any indication he’d be there until the next day.  
Not caring about how he would look running around the store, he grabbed a basket and began searching for the fabric section. Nothing was remotely cheap, but if Cali played his cards right he wouldn’t need very much. For the scarf, Cali bought a pink flowery one that he could cut down into smaller pieces, and stuff full of his excess fabric scraps. Though it wasn’t included in the original drawing, Cali grabbed a mini hat he was in the doll aisle. By the time he left, the basket also contained some fake red hair, a couple of buttons, a needle and thread, and finally a bag of all the fabric scraps the store couldn’t use. The total wound up being just around $15, costly, but still cheaper than hiring someone else to make the puppet.  
As he reached over to pay, he noticed some very nice flowers in the window, sensing that those make Boris just as excited as the puppet would, he inquired about them.  
“Oh, the Calla Lilies?” The man behind the counter asked, “Those aren’t for sale, I don’t even think they’re in season, but I think the Dingo Supermarket might have a few bulbs.” Cali quickly checked out, and starred the two blocks down the street, knowing it would be the place Boris worked, so avoiding him, especially when looking for Lilies would be difficult.  
Oh well, Caligosto had already walked this far, it would be foolish not to take advantage of the fact he was already so close, it wouldn’t take long, and he’d be back long before Boris could ever get home anyway.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Boris had just pulled into the apartment, but his mind was still racing, Though he had only been in the gardening section for a few minutes, he had seen Caligosto looking at the flowers. Boris tried to approach him, but Cali immediately took off into the main part of the store. It wasn’t like Boris could’ve mistaken someone else for Cali, he had a rather unique look, and his coworker running the register even mentioned that Cali had been through and bought a few things.  
As much as he dreaded having to talk about the current situation, but he feared what could happen if it got any worse. No matter how scared he would be, there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Still it didn’t stop him from giving an excited, “Калла Лили, I’m home!” Only to be met with complete silence. All the lights in the apartment were off, Cali wasn’t home.  
In Hindsight that made a lot of sense, Boris had asked to take the rest of that day, and the next day off upon seeing how strange Cali had been acting towards him, but since Caligosto had presumably walked to the store, it could be a while before he got back.  
There had to be something he could do to pass the time without too much thought. He almost instinctively returned to his room to work on Lil’ Habby before something caught his eye. Among the pile of letters that were on the table, the 1983 Calendar Boris had ordered lay at the top.  
It would be rather quick, but Boris always made sure to mark the calendars as soon as he got them, because it was a task that was easy to forget. Cali would arrive in a few minutes, though it only bed Boris’s growing nervousness this could be a good thing, he would have more time to plan out his side of the conversation.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Caligosto let out a groan as he recognized the purple car in the parking lot. Boris wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour at least. He got off at 8:00, but it wasn’t even 7:00 yet. This would complicate things.  
“Hey, Boris.” Cali mumbled unenthusiastically pushed his way through the door. He desperately searched the room for some sort of distraction he could make while he slipped the bags into his room.  
“Калла Лили, did eye do some-thing wrong?” Boris asked nervously, as he stirred whatever was in the pot. Cali had no idea how Boris had brought that on, other than running away at the plant section, that had probably ended up looking more suspicious than if he had just wore his best poker face and tried to convince Boris he was there to visit him.  
It was too late to try to change that without drawing more suspicion, luckily Cali spotted something he could use, that was a new flower themed calendar on the wall. “Of course you didn’t do anything wrong, I was just out on a walk.” Caligosto answered absentmindedly walking towards the calendar, holding his bag just out of Boris’s line of sight. “Oh, is that a new calendar, wait a minute, that can’t be right…” Cali trailed off as he reread the date, nope it was unmistakable, January 1st was Boris’s Birthday. “Oh your Birthday’s next week.”  
“Oh, eye for-got to tell yew, domt worry. We just had Christ-miss after all.” Boris answered cheerfully. Those words well on deaf ears, Boris had managed to figure out Cali’s birthday and arrange a party for him, all without alerting him to what was going on.  
Caligosto rushed into his room, forgetting to concoct an excuse. He had three days to sew the puppet in time for Boris’s birthday. He could certainly do it, but that would require him to work at almost all waking hours four the next three days, and he wasn’t even sure he would be able to make a proper puppet to begin with. What other choice did he have? He wouldn’t have time to find some other gift, with most stores still being closed down. The Lilies were completely out of the question, even if kissing them DID help them grow he doubted all the kisses in the world could get them to sprout fully grown in the middle of winter.  
Well, there was no time to worry. He just had to start measuring and get to work.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
It was approaching 7:00 on the Morning of January first 1983. An exhausted Caligosto looked over his creation. He hadn’t even gotten a full night of sleep in his four day rush to get it into an acceptable condition to give Boris.  
The Puppet was a little creepy looking, but at this point he was out of options. Cali threw the Lily bulbs into a fancy bag as a gift too, he may have learned sewing from his mother, but the gardening stuff didn’t even make sense back when she tried to teach him.  
Cali searched the cabinet, there had to be something in there that would make a decent Birthday breakfast, that at the same time, was easy enough to cook that even he couldn’t burn it, right? Despite his optimism, Cali knew unless it came prepackaged for the oven, he would still have to rely on Boris to make something edible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this Chapter coming so late into the day, I had Exams yesterday, so I had no time to write. Also apologies if the ending for this one's a bit rushed, it will be fleshed out next chapter, I promise.


	9. New Year, same crazy boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year may have changed from 1982 to 1983, But Boris and Caligosto haven't changed a bit.

“Happy Birthday!” Caligosto called out tiredly as Boris examined his gift. Boris had no idea how Cali had even discovered his love of puppets, that alone was puzzling, but what really confused him was how Cali had managed to predict that he wanted a puppet to look just like him. While somehow managing to do all of that without alerting Boris to its existence. It wasn’t because he was psychic, Boris knew that much.

Still, he wasn’t faking the smile on his face when he put the puppet on his hand, and started making it move. “Thank you!” Boris squealed as he realized how perfectly it fit around his hand, “Yeah, thamk yew” Boris said again moving the puppets mouth. His ventriloquy needed a lot of work, and he had planned on developing a separate personality for the puppet while he applied the finishing touches, 9if it ever got to that state.) 

Once Boris tore his eyes off Caligosto’s gift, he couldn’t help but notice the two sad looking bowls of oat porridge on the table. Cali’s breakfast attempts were always sweet, but the fact the food was never edible, combined with the fact he never scrubbed the pots just ended up giving Boris more work to do. Oh well, at least Cali hadn’t attempted to make anything involving eggs, Boris had been saving them just for today. 

“Oh, Калла Лили, that break-fast uh…” Boris struggled to find the words to explain why he couldn’t eat that monstrosity. “You’re oat-meal is yucky,” Boris finished using the puppet. He felt bad for saying something so blunt about the meal his friend had put work into, but something about saying it with the puppet made him feel braver. 

Caligosto’s smile briefly slipped, before Boris picked up both bowls in one hand. Carrying them both in his non-dominant hand was difficult, but Boris wasn’t taking off Lil’ Habby for the world. After breakfast, he could open up that other gift Caligosto made him, but for now his first priority was making the best Omelettes he could.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Boris was just scraping up the last bits off his egg as his attention turned back to the back to the small lilac bag in the center of the table. Caligosto sat on the other side of the table, picking at his eggs. “Iz it time to op-in my pres-ent?” Boris asked excitedly. 

Cali looked up from his plate a bit startled, before sighing, “Yeah, open it whenever you want.” Ignoring Cali’s sour mood, Boris ripped away the tissue paper concealing the surprise Cali had in store. At first, Boris didn’t recognize the strange white bulbs. As he pulled them out of the bag and examined them further it clicked, “Lilies? Weight, Calla Lilies!” Boris instinctively put his hand up to cover his mouth before forcing them down again. Even if unbroken, Caligosto deserved the chance to see Boris’s smile. 

Cali snapped out of his daze, giving Boris a confused look. “Calla Lily, wait a minute, is that what you've been calling me for the past month!?” Boris hadn’t exactly tried to keep the meaning of Caligosto’s nickname a secret, but he hadn’t exactly been jumping out of his seat to tell him either. Boris was somewhat surprised that Cali had put in the connection after hearing Boris say it in an unrelated context in english, but the words were similar enough for both pronunciations to be more or less the same. 

“Cali-ghost-o/Calla Lily, they sounded sim-i-lair and eye though Calla Lily suited yew.” Boris mumbled, wracking his brain for something else he could say. Possibly using Lil’ Habby to add some humor to the situation, his mind went blank, so he just stared at his gift bag trying to avoid eye contact. 

After what felt like hours, but was only a few seconds, Cali finally spoke. “You can keep calling me that if you really have to, just don’t do it in public.” Boris gave a long sigh of relief, it was like a massive weight had been lifted off his shoulders, not just for that, but for everything. 

Caligosto had been very distant for the past few days, Boris was terrified of what that could mean since it happened to start the day after he broke down and told his friend about his smile and Lily.As much of he tried to ignore them in favor of being happy, but the fears of his only friend turning his back on him persisted. 

Boris looked over his presents again whispering, “Thamk yew Calla Lily, I love these, they are some of the best presents eye’ve ever got-ten.” The thanks was sincere, but Boris didn’t feel like it was enough, so maneuvering himself in a way his mouth couldn’t easily be seen, he used the puppet to continue his speech. “Hay! those silly bulbs were-n’t half as good as me.”

A smile chuckle escaped Cali’s lips, as he began to smile. “Why dom’t we play Snake once you eat break-fast, a bet you can get high score!” Boris suggested. He didn’t have any plans for the day, and every shop or activity in town was closed for new years. Though playing Snake was always fun, Boris would choose Pong over Snake any day of the week. Though the game was fun, Boris hoped Cali would end up just playing it by himself, even though he had only had Little Habby for a few minutes, he already dreaded the idea of taking him off. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Boris desperately flipped through the cookbook that came with the apartment. There had to be some form of dessert he could make to serve after dinner tonight. Boris knew Caligosto had no obligation to get him a cake, but Boris couldn’t help but wish he had bought some form of dessert for the occasion. So Boris now found himself searching the kitchen and the recipe book for something he could make from scratch. 

Finally, Boris spotted a spotty banana bunch sitting behind the kitchen toaster, one of the very first things in that cook book was a recipe for Banana bread . As far as Boris knew, neither him nor Cali had even touched that toaster since they moved in. It was a primitive ugly thing, with the paint chipping off the side and one of the handles missing, if it weren’t for the fact it was owned by the apartment complex and not himself Boris would’ve thrown it away the first chance he got. 

Pushing the toaster aside, Boris pulled out the bananas and looked them over. They could stand to be a little more brown, but they were otherwise perfect for the recipe. Boris doubted Caligosto would have any objections about this use of the bananas. For someone who often avoided sweets, Cali had very little drive to eat healthy, mostly living off a diet of bread based foods, and whatever Boris would cook. The chances of Cali eating bananas, let alone brown ones were so low, Boris didn’t even bother asking for Caligosto’s input. 

It looked like an easy recipe, and all the ingredients were accounted for. After he started preheating the oven, Boris gently pulled off Lil’ Habby and leaned his against the wall in a place Boris could see from almost any angle, before he began giving his full attention to the recipe at hand. 

After a few minutes, Boris had all the ingredients together, and sorted between wet and dry. After combining the dry ingredients, Boris peeled the banana and dropped them in the second bowl. He doubted Cali would be interested in matching the bana’s, but he saw no harm in asking.

Once Caligosto’s game ended, Boris asked, “Calla Lilly, do yew wamt to help me with the ban-nan-na’s?” Slightly started, Cali dropped his controller before turning to Boris with a look that could be read as either surprise or frustration. 

Boris half expected Cali to yell no and go back to his game. He wasn’t too far off “Yeah, that sounds fun!” Caligosto snarled as he pushed himself off the couch. Before marching to the kitchen, and eyeing the bananas in the bowl. Boris sheepishly handed Cali a wooden spoon, and watched as he mashed those bananas into a puree. “I was ONE point from beating my high score, ONE POINT, then I accidentally ran into myself and have to do it all over again. I hate this game!” Cali shouted as he threw his spoon into the bowl.

Despite Caligosto’s anger, Boris couldn’t help but be relieved. Cali’s anger at losing games was always intense, but it was easy to calm him down. As opposed to the unstoppable fury he could develop when truly angry at someone, especially if said person was Boris. He still had nightmares about the time he broke Cali’s favorite bathtub tugboat.

“Yew can help me finish bake-ing, them we can go make new hi-score” Boris mumbled. He had heard a rumor about how the girlfriend of one of his classmates got so angry when she lost a game of Breakout, that she threw her controller into the drywall, not only breaking the controller, but requiring them to hire someone to fix the hole in the wall. The landlady already hated them, so the last thing they needed was to give her one more excuse to say they couldn’t renew their leases, or worse, get evicted.

“Anything sounds better than playing that stupid game again. What are you baking anyway, banana bread?” Boris nodded excitedly. Cali never offered to help him with anything related to cooking or baking, due to the fact he couldn’t cook or bake. The Idea was sound at first, but Boris was beginning to worry his friend would never learn how to cook because he was unwilling to try. Then again, Boris calling the breakfast Caligosto made for him “yucky” certainly wasn’t helping.

There wasn’t much left Boris needed to do before the mixture was ready, and the oven was preheated. That didn’t stop his from giving an enthusiastic, “It’s ban-nan-na bread, eye haven’t had any be-four and wamted to try it.” Part of Boris wanted to explain why it wasn’t cake, but Cali wouldn’t care, he didn’t like cake anyway, or really anything with sugar. For all Cali’s faults, especially in the realm of dentistry, he certainly took his own oral hygiene quite seriously.

“I haven’t had banana bread since I was a young lad, my grandmother used to make it for me, but that was a long time ago. I think the last time I saw her was shortly before I got ‘sick.’ Caligosto murmured wistfully. Boris had never heard Cali mention anything about his extended family before this. His voice swelled with pride just mentioning his grandmother, but at the same time the way Caligosto had said sick left a pit in Boris’s stomach. He had a sinking feeling he knew what Cali was referring to when he mentioned being “sick.

Boris could think about that later, what mattered now was that Cali had not only forgotten about the intense anger he felt only a couple minutes prior, but was willingly baking banana bread with Boris. All with a massive toothy grin on his face, though his smile wasn’t nearly as nice, Boris pulled the biggest one he could as he greased to pan for the oven. He still had teeth, and therefore he could at least give the world part of a smile.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dinner was delicious, or as delicious as a frozen lasagna could be. Boris was never the biggest fan of pre-made food, but they had run out of everything they could easily make, so the emergency lasagna would do in a pinch. Caligosto never seemed to have a problem with that stuff, most likely due to being willing to eat anything over his mother's cooking. Srill, the frozen dinner wasn’t the main course, at least not to Boris, as soon as Cali cleaned his plate, they could finally try that banana bread.

The awkward silence gave the meal an almost tense feeling, finally, Caligosto spoke up. “Are you going to complain to the landlady about the broken heater, or do I have to- do it?” Boris had heard Cali complain a few times about the broken heater, but it never really bothered him. Even with a heater, his old house would’ve been much colder. Now if the air conditioner was broken, Boris would be having problems. 

“Calla Lily, yew no the land-lady hates us, one more com-plaint and she says we cam’t re-knew our lease at the end of the summer.” Boris sighed. He hated the apartment complex, but at least he met Cali during the drama about the girl refusing to live with him because he wore makeup. 

“We’ll find a new apartment then, If you want to move with me then feel free. Finding an empty two person apartment shouldn’t be too difficult.” Caligosto replied matter of factly. 

Boris sighed and thought it over. Though rash, Caligosto’s idea was a good one. If they could afford to go somewhere better, then they should move there. Really if the apartment was cheaper Boris was still more than happy to move there. While not super fancy, the apartment complex they lived in was still one of the more expensive in the town, and it didn’t offer nearly enough to justify the high costs, though Boris would still miss the rec room. They had both games at home, but something about the ability to play at an arcade cabinet made him occasionally spend a few quarters there while Cali was at work. 

“Eye’ll help find a new place for us to live,” Boris answered, even though it would be 7- 8 months before they could move, just saying that felt like a relief. They could now leave this awful place, and they wouldn’t even have to worry about who they’d end up living with. 

Boris was so caught up in the discussion about where they could go, he didn’t even notice that Caligosto cleaned his plate. Eventually after more discussion about things like price range, and the qualities they expected, and where they should start looking. 

Finally Boris noticed the empty plate, and brought both of them to the sink. Boris pulled the two bread loaves out of the oven, hoping between now, and when he turned the oven off the loaves would have cooled enough to be eaten. After the first loaf slid out onto the cutting board, Boris pulled a large bread knife from the back of the silverware drawers, cutting the loaf into eight thick slices. Boris pulled two small plates out of the counter and carried both the plates and the cutting board to the table. 

As easy as it would be to just take a slice and dig in, Boris ran back to the kitchen to grab Lil’ Habby. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten him in the kitchen for all those hours. As soon as his puppet pal was back over his hand Boris felt a wave of happiness and confidence run through him. 

He pulled a slice off the cutting board and took a large bite. The bread wasn’t super hot, but warm on the inside, and very sweet. Despite the fact it was his first time trying it, Boris couldn’t help but feel some nostalgia for his visits to his aunt and uncle. “I knew it wouldn’t be as good as my Grandmother’s banana bread, but I’ve got to say, you came pretty close!” Caligosto cheered as he shoved half a slice into his mouth, trying to smile, but also trying to prevent the crumbs from falling into his lap. 

“Thamk yew, it’s all thamks you you’re help!” Boris squeaked, barely containing his excitement. Truthfully he knew it would probably taste just as good if he did everything himself, but Cali could use any encouragement he could get. 

Without warning, Caligosto jumped out of his seat and ran to his room, leaving Boris behind puzzled. “Mother got me a camera and some film for Christmas!” Caligosto yelled as he emerged from his room, holding an old looking camera. Boris wasn’t fooled. He saw that exact camera on the piano when he visited the Loboto household back in November. “Smile,” Caligosto ordered jokingly as he took a picture of an unprepared Boris. 

“Hay, I wasm’t red-y, give me that!” Boris replied mischievously running for Cali’s camera. Succeeding and snatching it and snapping a picture of his friend's surprised face. Quickly, Boris took off across the apartment with Cali in hot pursuit, if he wanted to take pictures of an unprepared Boris he’d better work for it.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Boris eagerly pulled the pictures out of the bag that he got from the drug store, as he waited for his new professor to arrive in class. Developing them so quickly wasn’t cheap, but Caligosto was willing to pay for the development as a birthday present, and Boris put down a few dollars so he could see the pictures as soon as possible. 

As soon as he took a look at the pictures Boris was met with a harsh drain to his mood. The Pictures especially those with him, didn’t develop properly. He only appeared as a dark silhouette, sometimes with visible eyes and teeth, it looked to creepy. In only two pictures was Boris able to see himself without any strange distortion.

One was just him posing with Lil’ Habby with a massive grin on his face, and the other was him posing with Cali in front of a mirror also wearing large smiles. Even though the two remaining pictures were good, he couldn’t help but scowl at them. Caligosto had a much better smile in the picture where they stood in front of the mirror. He had all those beautiful teeth, while Boris was missing several, making his mouth look ugly. 

It wasn’t fair that Caligosto got to have such a nice smile while Boris didn’t. NO, Boris scolded himself. Cali earned that smile of his, and used it all the time, even when he was really upset. Boris had no right to harbor such animosity towards him. 

Boris looked around at everyone else in the class, they all had full sets of teeth, but he didn’t see a single one of them smiling. Did they even use their teeth?

While he was lost in thought, the professor, Dr. Day strolled into the room, with dark circles under his eyes, a wrinkled suit, a head of gray hair, and a large mug of coffee. “Alright Class!” He yelled loudly enough to pull everyone away from whatever they were focused on, “I had a presentation prepared for your first, but someone at the office screwed up and lost my notes. So we’re doing an emergency plan B, why don’t all of you take turns going up to the chalkboard and tell us a little something about yourself. Any volunteers?” 

Boris hadn’t had to do anything like that since he joined his first class in Elementary school. Still, despite having little experience, Boris enjoyed talking in front of crowds. So he immediately raised his hand. Due to having no other volunteers, he was immediately called upon to give his little speech.

Boris reached into his bag, pulling out his smuggled friend, Lil Habby. Before skipping to the blackboard and yelling. “Hi, every-one eye’m Boris Habit, eye have a friend named Cali-ghost-o, and eye call my other friend Lil’ Habby!” The class starred at him silently. “It’s n-ice to meat yew all,” Boris mumbled, using Lil’ Habby to finish it. The class remained silent as people began looking with disgust. 

“I like Boris, he tries to be himself, that’s more than any of you seem to do!” Dr. Day bellowed as people began to giggle. “Don’t be ashamed of yourself son, you do you, and don’t let anyone say otherwise.” Day finished as Boris returned to his seat. 

“Wow, look as that freak, he’s like seven feet tall!”   
“Did you see his teeth, how can you be a dentist if you can't even take care of your own.”

"My Nephew speaks better English than him, and he's three!"

“Who talks through a puppet anyway. He's probably crazy!"   
“Boris, more like Bridgett, heels and makeup, does he think he’s a girl?"   


Boris laid his head down as he heard everyone around him find a new way to insult him. Those people had the nerve to talk about HIS teeth, while never smiling. He hated them. They didn’t deserve their teeth, plenty of other people needed them far more than that. If it were up to Boris, he would take the teeth of everyone but Dr. Day and give them to people who really deserved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story about the girlfriend sending a controller through the wall over a lost game of Breakout may or may not be based on the time I sent a joycon through my TV breaking both it and the TV over a lost Splatoon game, but you didn't hear that from me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boris takes in a lost kitten he found in the rain, Caligosto wants nothing to do with it.

The table shook violently as the storm raged over the apartment, in frustration, Caligosto banged his head on one of the thick books that was laying on the table in front of him. Exams were only two weeks away, and his parents would kill him if he didn’t ace them, but with all that racket going on outside made studying impossible.   
All Cali could really do was wait until Boris got home and see if Boris could help him with some of this stuff, but that was unlikely for two reasons. Reason one was Boris was already struggling in his own class harder than Caligosto was, Caligosto was doing quite well all things considered he was just too afraid of the alternative. His parents already made him get a Bachelor's degree on top of the regular dentist stuff. The other being Boris failed the class once, and the second time he barely passed as is. Perhaps Cali was better off studying by himself, or he would be if it weren’t for that stupid thunder.   
Luckily he didn’t have to throw himself back into the books desperately trying to pay attention, because right as he opened his book the door flew open. Finally, Cali had a good excuse to not study, “CALLA LILY!” A familiar voice cried, Boris always got so excited when seeing Caligosto it almost made him embarrassed.   
“Hi, Boris… How was class?” Cali asked casually, trying not to act overly excited himself. Even if Boris’s excitement was pretty embarrassing, it was hard not to get caught up in it, Boris’s smile’s had a tendency to be contagious. Boris was standing in the doorway soaking wet with one hand in the opening of his coat as if it were a pocket.  
“Class was oh-kay, some girls laugh-ed at me, Doc-ter Day made them apple-gize.” Boris murmured, that was good. Caligosto was no stranger to bullying himself, but everyone in Boris’s class seemed downright vicious, especially for a college Classroom. “The most im-port-ant thing hap-penned after class. On my way to car, eye saw a kit-ten under the bench in the rain.''Cali nodded slowly, beginning to wonder where Boris was going, realizing what was about to happen a couple of seconds too late. “Eye could-n’t just leaf her, scarred and cold in the rain, sew eye took her with me.”  
Boris pulled his hand out of a coat, revealing a small white kitten with a black back, and orange front paws. Caligosto often tried avoiding raising his voice at his roommate, since Boris often took it a lot harder than he intended, but at this point he just didn’t care. “BORIS, GET THAT CAT AWAY FROM ME NOW!”  
Boris gripped the kitten tighter and took a step back, asking “Dew yew hate kit-tens Cali? Did they hurt yew?”  
It was Caligosto’s turn to give Boris a puzzled look, what an odd question to ask. “No Boris, I don’t hate kittens, I just want to know why you brought one into the apartment. The Landlady will kill us if she finds one, and why do you always ask if something hurt me if I express even the most minor reaction of not loving it immediately?” Cali knew Boris was just trying to help, but the fact he always insisted on playing therapist got annoying fast.  
Boris stared straight at the floor,before finally answering, “Sorry Cali, eye jsut thought yew were afraid of her by the way yew yelled. We dom’t habe to keep her for-ever, eye can take her to the shell-ter as soon as eye can.”   
Though he was still a little annoyed about the whole ‘bringing home a random cat’ part. “Fine, one last question. What are we feeding her? We don’t have any cat food.” Caligosto mumbled.  
“Well that iz why eye stopp here, sew yew could watch her whilbe eye go two the store.” Boris answered. Cali doubted Boris had that much foresight, he was probably just trying to act like he knew what he was doing in order to keep the kitten longer. “Buy Calla Lily!” Boris yelled as he laid the cat on the couch, and rushed out the door.   
Caligosto scratched his head at the sight before trying to go back to looking at his textbooks. Now he was sure Boris had no clue what he was doing, Boris only ever left so suddenly when he was trying to get out of doing something. Hopefully he’d have that kitten out of the house within the week.   
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Boris looked over the pet aisle. There had to be something there that was decent quality and wouldn’t result in getting yelled by Cali for overspending. He didn’t really know what he expected, he was hoping Caligosto would want to keep the cat since she was so sweet, but he should’ve known that was too much to ask.   
Maybe Cali could eventually grow to love the kitten as much as Boris did. That wasn’t going to happen, despite all of Boris’s subtle hints, and the fact that his parents constantly berated him for no reason Cali still hadn’t changed his views towards his parents. The only thing Boris had seen Cali change his views on was if he looked good wearing lipstick or not.   
Finally, Boris settled on a brand that was on the cheaper side, but didn’t look like it would make the kitten sick. Despite knowing it was probably a waste of money he grabbed a special cat bowl and a rubber mouse too. He might only have her for a week as most, but he was going to make the most out of it.   
If Cali had a problem that, Boris would… Truthfully Boris wouldn’t do anything, he just had to hope Caligosto’s attitude would stop being so negative. That wasn’t even just about the kitten either, sure Cali smiled a lot, more than your average person, but it wasn’t enough. Boris smiled all the time, and he didn’t think he smiled enough, the world could always use more smiles, especially since Cali had such a nice set of teeth.   
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If concentrating on everything with the thunder and lightning was hard, studying with all that and a kitten squealing made that look tame by comparison. If Boris didn’t get back to the apartment and soon, Caligosto just couldn’t be held legally responsible for what he was going to do. That was all compounded when she finally got off the couch, and swatted his legs with her tiny but very sharp claws.   
“CAT! You Should be VERY glad Boris is protecting you!” Caligosto yelled as the kitten looked up at him. She gave a little meow before attempting to jump onto his lap, scratching him further. “If you promise to shut up, and stop trying to kill me.”  
As soon as he placed her in his lap, she curled up and began to purr, the purring was a little distracting, but far more manageable than the screaming she was doing a minute earlier. Maybe if he focused on them he could block out the sounds of the storm.   
Studying became a little easier, he still had to force himself to not give up after the first page, but that was every study session. He had gotten so focused on his notes, he didn’t even notice Boris returning from his trip to the store.   
“Are yew sure yew dom’t like the cat?” Boris’s voice called out from behind Caligosto as he was just finishing a chapter. Cali hadn’t even realized he had been petting the kitten, how long had he been doing that? He hadn’t even realized he was doing it beforehand.   
Concealing his embarrassment the best he could, Cali yelled, “I DON’T LIKE THE CAT! I just had to keep her in my lap to make her stop crying long enough for me to work!” Whether or not Boris believed that explanation was up for debate, either way Cali just had to maintain his composure, and hope his friend didn’t find it too amusing.   
“Did yew habve to pet her two?” Boris asked, chuckling. Cali rolled his eyes, did Boris seriously not see he was on thin ice as is.  
“Yes, I did. Now I’m going to my room to study without this annoying cat OR my nosy roommate.” Cali muttered before pushing himself out of his chair, placing the kitten on the floor. Despite slamming the door behind him, Cali could still hear faint laughter coming from the kitchen.   
Boris could laugh all he wanted, it still wasn’t changing the fact they were getting rid of the kitten first chance they got.   
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Normally, Caligosto had no issue going to sleep, that was the one easy part about the night, but tonight it was different. Tonight Cali had a kitten scratching on his door, screaming its tiny head off. If it weren’t past the a “Curfew Time” Boris had set up, Cali would’ve just woken up Boris and made him handle it, but even not sleeping at all that night would’ve been preferable to getting dragged to his room while Boris disjointedly ranted about how who was really in charge.   
It was a terrifying experience, and one Cali would rather do just about anything to avoid. Finally, Caligosto flung the door open, that kitten had better calm down, and soon, before he just shut her in the closet.   
Cali looked over the dark hallway looking for the kitten's small form. He hadn’t even noticed she had already slipped into the room until he heard her small meow coming from behind him.  
In order to find her quickly, Caligosto flipped the switch in his room, momentarily blinding himself with the sudden brightness. Once his vision cleared, he spotted her sitting beside his bed looking up at him. Whatever she was thinking the answer was no.   
“Cat, you're not going up on my bed, you can sleep in my room if you're quiet, and be lucky I let you go that far.” Caligosto murmured, more for himself than the actual kitten. As tempted as he was to just let her up and be done with it, he wasn’t giving her or Boris the satisfaction of letting that happen.   
Throwing one of his pillows on the floor for the kitten to sleep on before pulling his own blanket above his head to block out any noise she might make. With nothing else distracting Caligosto he was easily able to slip back to the hazy dream world he knew and tolerated.   
Sleep wasn’t peaceful, it never was, but Caligosto managed to go through the night without waking up in a cold sweat. When he finally began to regain awareness about the world around him, he noticed two things, a strange warmth around the stump where his right arm used to be, and a strange purring noise. Forcing his eyes open, Cali was met with the sleeping form of the kitten.  
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Boris hadn’t seen the cat at all since he had woken up. He was sure she had been on the couch when he went to bed the previous night. It was very likely that she had moved somewhere else in the apartment, but after looking under everything, and even checking the hallway storage room in the off chance she somehow got shut in there to no success.   
It was possible Caligosto had gotten sick of her and thrown her out of the apartment. Cali hadn’t done anything like that yet, but honestly Boris wouldn’t be too surprised if he did. He’d be furious though, if Cali thought Boris was scary after staying up past curfew he hadn’t seen anything yet. Though the decision was rash, the sooner Boris knew about the location of the cat the better.   
Boris gently knocked on the door, after not receiving an immediate answer he pulled on Caligosto’s door, surely even with its flimsy lock in would open easily. The lock didn’t budge, but instantly upon charging the door, the hinges gave way, causing the door to be unnaturally thrown from where it was supposed to be.. Cali was sitting on his bed gritting his teeth as he was forcing his prosthetic arm into position. “CALL-E-GHOST-O WEAR IZ THE KAT,” Boris growled.   
Cali shrieked, with a mixture of fear and pain, before turning his heading the direction of the door. Boris had only ever seen Caligosto truly angry once, but the look of pure rage in his friends' eyes made even that look like it had just been a friendly chat. He leaned back to show the sleeping figure of the kitten before him. “Boris, I’m going to give you two seconds to get out of my room, before I tear your precious lily to pieces and throw every one of those pieces into a fire.” Cali wasn't screaming, his voice was if anything quieter than usual. The only thing that differentiated it from his regular voice were the occasional deranged chuckles that came out while he was saying that.   
Boris ran out of his friends room, this was bad, this was very bad. Cali often yelled, or screamed when he got angry, but he had never seen him get quiet like that before. Part of Boris wanted to make sure his room door was locked to make sure Cali couldn’t carry out his threat, but the rest of him just told him he kinda deserved it. All Caligosto had done was be nice to the cat. No wonder he insisted Boris take it away as soon as he saw her. Boris clearly didn’t have what it took to raise a cat.   
With not much else to do, Boris left Cali’s breakfast plate on the table, before returning to his room to get dressed. It was a good thing Cali didn’t have class that day, since Boris probably would’ve just walked to class to get out of facing Cali. He had really screwed up this one.  
______________________________________________________________________  
Even Caligosto was surprised just how much studying he was able to do that day. Something about the soothing purr of the kitten, made studying just so much easier. Ah what the heck, the kitten had grown on him. He wasn’t ready to commit to keeping her forever quite yet, but he was certainly willing to give her a chance, she just needed a good name.   
Though dealing with Boris was a whole other can of worms. He wasn’t nearly as angry as he was that morning, Caligosto could feel some of the coldest fury known to man in the right circumstances, but it never hung around for long, and by now it was almost completely gone. Boris wasn’t off the hook though, Cali still expected him to pay for the replacement door in full, no amount of time passing was changing that.   
An apology would be nice too, but Boris wasn’t the type of person to apologize for anything even if it was his fault. Boris should be home by now, his class ended almost an hour prior. Oh well, Cali needed more time to gather his thoughts on the kitten anyway.   
______________________________________________________________________  
“And here’s where I’ll keep her until she’s grown up enough to live with the other cats,” Opal finished warmly as she pointed to the dog bed at the edge of her room. It had been difficult finding someone who was in the market for a new kitten at the Campus, and even harder for Boris to gain the nerve to ask some of his own classmates about it. If he had remembered to bring Lil’ Habby he would’ve had more confidence, but if he went back and got him there would be little point in returning to campus.   
Luckily it all paid off when he asked the rich animal lover of the class Opal. She had never been one to find one of his many flaws and mock him for them, but her social circles consisted almost entirely of people who did. Still she was actually pretty nice not that Boris had gotten to know her. “Thabs just pur-fect, the little kitty with lobve it!” Boris whispered with a smile.   
“Do you think you could drop her by Saturday?” Opal asked excitedly. Saturday was four days away. There weren’t any worries about running out of food in that short span of time. What Boris was worried about was how Cali would react to having to keep her for another four days. At this point Boris wasn’t going to do anything no matter what happened to that kitten, maybe Boris could keep it in his room, he didn’t have any other options.   
“That womt be trouble at all, eye’ll drop her bye first thing sat-ur-day mourning.” Boris answered using a voice as cheerful as he could muster.   
“Actually drop her by Saturday afternoon, I’m busy that morning.” Opal replied. Just a few more days, no big deal. Caligosto probably wouldn’t even notice, hopefully.   
“Thamk yew, see yew Sun-day.” Boris called as he reached the door to the house. He was fine, everything was fine, if he just kept a smile everything would end well eventually, right?  
______________________________________________________________________  
“Calla Lily, eye’m home!” Boris yelled nervously upon throwing open the door to the apartment. Caligosto looked up from the TV. After all he had accomplished, he had granted himself a few hours to play on the Atari guilt free while the kitten, sat on his lap. After keeping that thought in the back of his mind for several hours, Cali had picked out the perfect name for her.   
It really couldn’t have been a better time for Boris to come home, Cali had just beaten three of his previous high scores, and was in a particularly forgiving moon.   
“Boris, I can’t help but notice you came home two and a half hours past your normal time, what were you doing.” Caligosto phrased the question as casual, but he couldn’t hide the suspicion in his voice.   
“Eye was look-ing for a knew home for the kitty. Eye thimk eye found her a great one.” Boris answered happily.   
Caligosto’s eyes narrowed. “Actually, Amygdala is staying. She’s mine now.”  
“But eye thought yew said you didn’t wamt her.”  
“Well I do”  
“Eye found her a home and every-thing!”  
“Shame, because she already has one right here.”  
“The per-son who say’d they woulbd take her in said they will take real-lee good care of her.”   
“Good, because so will I.”  
“But”  
“Look Boris, I appreciate your concern, but we’re the only people who can handle this little menace, don’t let her cute exterior fool you. This is the face of pure evil.” Caligosto laughed as he shoved the kitten, Amygdala, in Boris’s face.  
“Oh-kay, we can keep her.”  
_____________________________________________________________________  
Boris was happy Caligosto was so happy about keeping the cat, he had even given her a name, but Boris wished he had decided on that before he went through the trouble of finding Amygdala a owner. He couldn’t be too upset, that kitten was adorable, besides, Boris would take any opportunity of delaying the inevitable conversation about what he would have to do to make up for destroying Cali’s bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm REALLY sorry for not putting out a chapter yesterday. I was busy, I also won't be putting out a chapter this Sunday since the Splatfest won't win itself. Sorry bout that.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give special thanks to Tumblr user Redrumrose for her amazing works


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